Captain No Marriage

The Avoid Marriage Files

2012-02-16T15:24:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!

So first off I want to thank all you fuckers who take the time to drink a few cold ones and comment on the blog or take the time to email me all sorts of article links and even your own personal stories. Your efforts are highly appreciated.

I have a comment that appeared on an older post today that I wanted to be sure that everybody had a chance to see. It’s from a gentleman who goes by Brian but it could have been written by the guy in the cubicle next to you, your dad, your best friend, it could have been written by any guy who has at one time or another fell for the marriage dupe.

His comment speaks not to only the true nature of marriage, but also to the true nature of most women. Enjoy fuckers.

“I was married and will never make that mistake again, not even with a solid prenup (prenups can be overturned in court given the right circumstances – whether real or contrived).

After a couple of years, my wife decided she didn't love me anymore but decided to stay because it was easier on her financially. She continued to make me think things were good between us (pretending to care, telling me she loved me when she didn’t, wonderful cards, sharing retirement dreams, etc.) in order to make life easier on herself monetarily. For her it was just a game and I was admittedly an easy, naive target.

We were together for twelve years and the last six (for me) were filled with confusion. I somehow knew I was being manipulated but couldn't parse the difference between her words vs. her actions (denial). In the end, she admitted that she hadn't cared for me for most of the relationship, that she wanted to hook up with someone else, and wanted half of the assets.

There is nothing as painful as being betrayed by someone you care for deeply. She destroyed my view of marriage and completely changed me from a loyal, devoted, loving, 'marriage oriented' guy into someone that will never again consider marriage. Once you stick your hand in the blender and get injured, if you’re of reasonable intelligence, making the same mistake again is unlikely.

I date now but will never again look at marriage the way I used to. If I want sex, I go out and get it. That part is simple and relatively easy to attain. For love, loyalty and companionship, I have a great dog.

Unfortunately, for many (both men and women), marriage is simply an avenue to financial gain and status.”

I think that pretty much sums it the fuck up! Tell me you don’t want to buy that guy a beer after reading that shit! Holy Fuck!! But at least he learned and isn’t trying it over and over. Thanks for your comment Brian and best of luck brother!

You’re now free to Chris Brown a bitch.

Technorati Tags: Chris Brown,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,alimony,American women,women's studies

Single Mothers

2012-02-13T18:43:00.001-08:00

Technorati Tags: avoid single mothers,skank,American women

Delusional Fucking Bitches

2012-02-12T19:08:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!

Man what the fucking fuck is wrong with women these days? They are simply fucking delusional! On so damn many levels!!

This shit has been going on for years. I can remember way back when I had some bitch who thought she would be slick and try to sleep around on me and I busted her. I of course dumped her ass and the first words out of this cunt’s mouth was “You’ll never find another woman like me”. Really? Well damn I sure was hoping I could rustle me up another cheating skank. Sucks to be me!

These are the same kind of women who when you’re with them you’ll notice that all your arguments seem to focus on what you are supposedly doing to her. Never about any of the bat shit crazy stuff she pulls, nope it’s all about YOU! The world revolves around her vagina.

If you’re with a woman who likes to tell you what a “good” woman she is, fucking run!!! If she truly is a good woman then you’ll fucking know without her telling you.

Does she tell you how lucky you are? Again, this is like the good woman thing, best to fucking run now while you’ve still got your balls!

These women like to talk about all they have to offer but truth is that they bring nothing to the fucking table. Well……….that’s not entirely true. A lot of women bring a steaming pile of shit to the table and want you to believe it’s fucking steak! They bring their emotional baggage, their fat fucking asses, their mental illnesses and of course they love to bring kids from other men into the mix.

Fuck you cunts. American women are a pump n dump at best, most of the time they’re not even worth that.

You’re now free to smack a bitch at the table.

Technorati Tags: child support,Captain No Marriage,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,Ameriskanks,cunts,blow job

LeBron James needs to Avoid Marriage or share the same fate as Kobe and Jordan.

2012-01-02T16:50:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! That’s what I said when I saw the headline about LeBron James getting engaged, but even worse when I read that he wasn’t alone. Michael Jordan is also engaged!!!

I mean goddamn guys!!! LeBron is 27, he’s got plenty of time to settle down or whatever the fuck you want to call it. As for Jordan, I just don’t know. I’d like to think he of all people would know better. I mean his first marriage cost him $168 million dammit fuck dollars!!! Now he’s going back for round 2? You’re Michael Fucking Jordan for crying out loud!!! Michael doesn’t have to do shit, he can tell some broad, I’m never going to marry you, if that’s a problem then hit the bricks cumbucket!!!

Hasn’t the stories about Kobe and Hulk Hogan reached these guys? I know it has, especially Kobe’s situation. But hell, even Hogan…..someone whose ex wife not only took most of his shit, but is now writing a book claiming he beat her……even he got remarried.

What happened to the natural human reaction of whenever you stick your hand into an open flame and you get burned………you learn not to stick your fucking hand into open flames?!!????!!!!!!!!

I realize that some of these athletes came from nothing and that at one time they were penniless and powerless. That is no longer the case, but they seem to be carrying that powerless mentality around with them. Why else would guys like this cave to the wishes of one woman?

I just don’t fucking know fuckers, have you got any theories as to why these guys are continuing to get married despite the sea of evidence surround them?

You’re now free to drink about the cabin.

Technorati Tags: avoid marriage,marriage sucks,women's studies

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!! Yet Another Reason for Men to Avoid Marriage!

2011-12-27T18:54:00.001-08:00

What’s up Fuckers!

Yeah, I know. Common story, famous guy is getting taken to the cleaners by a woman. This time, I’m not even mad at her, I’m pissed at guys like Kobe, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods, Paul McCartney and the list goes the fuck on!

What in the blue hell are you guys getting married for? For fucksake you’re rich!! You can have pussy delivered to your doorstep in any shade, size or color you want! Why are you walking blindly into a marriage contract?

But marriage isn’t enough, you have to knock these bitches up and give them a few 18yr annuities, good move slick! You dumbass!

So some people might say “I’m not rich, she can’t take nothing from me”, you might barely have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of, but you can rest assure that if you get divorced that your wife will take your fucking pot and board up the goddamn window!!

The less you have the more important it is for YOU to keep it and don’t give it away to some bitch. If you insist on giving money to a bitch make sure she’s a professional and the price is discussed upfront.

Let’s get our shit together gentlemen! How many more examples do we need to prove that there is not one single benefit to a man to get married yet there is a shit-ton of risk!!!!!

DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!

Technorati Tags: Avoid marriage,marriage sucks,women's studies

Fatty In A Bottle

2011-12-21T04:35:00.001-08:00

Technorati Tags: Christina Aguilera,typical woman,women's studies

Bullshit Reason #5,678,234 She Isn’t on ANY Form of Birth Control

2011-12-06T03:45:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Tom Leykis said it often and he was 1000000% correct in that if a woman is not on birth control then she wants a baby. And to remind the young guys this means just because YOU are wearing a condom doesn’t mean she won’t try to pull it off during sex or several other tricks we’ve all heard about. If she’s not on something, run. Just fucking run unless you like paying for pussy on an 18+ year payment plan sponsored by the government.

Of course women have tons of lame excuses as to why they aren’t on birth control. I’ve just recently heard one, it’s not completely new, but when you factor in who said it, that’s what gives it the twist.

I heard a woman say that she has never and would never be on any sort of birth control because she didn’t like what it did to a woman’s body (as if childbirth is kind to a woman’s body). She said she was concerned with her health, but here’s the rub……….she was also a good 50 or 60 pounds overweight.

Oh yeah, really goddamn concerned with your health aren’t you sweetheart? I’ve seen this broad chow down on greasy hamburgers during lunch, she talks about drinking margaritas all the time and the bitch couldn’t find a gym if you stuffed a GPS up her twat but she isn’t on birth control because she is concerned about her health!!!!

This not only proves Miss Piggy is just like any other baby crazy bitch. It also illustrates just how out of touch with reality and just how much American women are in love with the smell of their own bullshit!

You know what fellas, we need to be healthy too and the best way to stay healthy physically and financially is to stay the fuck away from American women.

You’re now free to move about Eastern Europe.

Hey fuckers if you like this drunken fodder then feel free to follow the blog or subscribe via email. Also, get your ass over to ZTM’s site at http://womanbitch.wordpress.com/ and show him some love. Happy Drinking!

Technorati Tags: women's studies,avoid marriage,marriage sucks

This One’s For Da Ladies….

2011-11-28T04:43:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard you fucking fuck fuckers!!!

So over the weekend I ate at one of the most entertaining lunch venues around, a place where a guy can always look and laugh at the final resting place of most Ameriskanks, I’m talking about Rubychillifridaygardenlobsterhorn. There you will always find some shrill and her friend at the bar, way past their prime complaining about men. So I’ve decided to help them out and explain some shit to them.

Their issue? Men only want one thing from them. Sex.

Our subjects were in their late 30s or early 40s, you could tell that they used to be hot, but time and high mileage had clearly taken it’s toll. And these aren’t the older women you see in the gym that actually have a decent body, oh no these two birds were just trying to get by with stuffing their sagging tits into a pushup bra. PBR wouldn’t even do the trick with these broads, you’d need something stronger like Colt 45 or Steel Reserve.

Ladies, the reason guys only want sex from you is because that is all you have to offer. This goes for women of any age. Women who have their shit together emotionally, physically and financially don’t have this complaint.

This reminded me of a high school classmate that I ran into a while back, she made the comment that all that hits on her are either really old guys or really young guys. Well sweetie, successful guys don’t have to settle for a single mom with 3 kids from 2 different guys. Mystery solved, call me fucking Shercock Holmes.

Now do most guys want sex, fucking duh!!!!! However a lot of guys would love to find that one really great chick like the one I mentioned above, the mythical woman who actually has her shit together. Although you’d probably have more luck finding a golden unicorn and fucking it in the ass, anywhore…until we find either her or the unicorn we’re just going to keep using you for the only purpose you could possibly serve…..a hole.

You’re now free to fuck a unicorn in the ass.

Technorati Tags: fuckaunicorn,american women suck,women's studies

Don’t Shit On My Goddamn Table You Fucking Cunt-tard!!

2011-11-22T04:32:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!

I tell you crazy fuckers what, the shit I hear in the company cafeteria never ceases to amaze or piss me off.

Fat cunt 1 and fat cunt 2 are a couple of tables away but are talking loud enough so that the entire fucking county can hear them. They are blathering on about how men don’t appreciate them and about how they bring “a lot to the table”. Now ladies listen up, just because you bring something to the table doesn’t mean that the other person wants it.

Do these women bring a lot to the table, why yes, in so many ways however none of them are good if you’re a guy.

First off, they’re clearly attention whores. You always know they’re around long before you see them because they make sure they talk loud enough so that everyone knows they’re there. While they are young, they do not give two shits about their appearance and are pushing two bills. Let’s not forget these chicks didn’t have time to go to college so they have a nice low level, low paying job. Who knows what other mental disorders they have, treated or untreated. And the best thing they’re bringing to the table? Why of course multiple kids from multiple losers! HOT DAMN SIGN ME UP!

Yes these cunt-tards do bring a lot to the table, I actually have to agree with them on that, too bad they don’t bring anything worthwhile to the fucking table. But how often have you heard this? Tons I’d bet!

Even if the chick is smoking hot chances are that’s all she’s bringing is her looks and her vagina. Neither of which will be worth looking at 10 years from now. So even if she’s hot it’s still best to just hop in for a test drive, ride it hard and promptly return the keys before any payments are due.

The United States (and other Western countries) are full of these entitlement princesses that think that their mere presence is a gift to god himself. I wouldn’t take the time to piss in these bitches faces, it’d be a waste of PBR.

You’re now free to piss in a strippers face.

Hey fuckers, just wanted to tell you that the Zero Tolerance Man is fucking back and you can find him at http://womanbitch.wordpress.com/ so get your asses over there!

Technorati Tags: American women don't bring shit to the fucking table,avoid marriage,marriage sucks

Shit That Really Pisses Me Off!

2011-11-16T16:15:00.001-08:00

What’s up you fucking fuckers!

Well fuck, I signed into my Twatter….I mean Twitter account today and had a message from the Great One himself, ZTM (the Zero Tolerance Man). His blog got hacked.

So if you’ve been clicking on the link to his site over there on the right hand side, that’s what the fuck has happened. And this REALLY pisses me off!

No disrespect to any of the great sites and blogs out there, I’ve mentioned it before that ZTM’s site was the first I found way back when I typed in “fuck marriage” into the Google search box. Here was a guy who echoed the same shit me and so many other guys have been going through. We were fed up with women’s bullshit!

His site led me to many of the sites you will find on my blogroll, the commentary and even the comments on his site are always top fucking notch!

But don’t despair fuckers, ZTM’s message also said “need to start again”, so if you think he’s quitting, no fucking chance. So right now I need all you fuckers to join me and raise your PBR and toast ZTM. He’ll be back!

Technorati Tags: Zero Tolerance Man,ifuckedyourmomandthebitchlikedit

Shit That’s Pissing Me Off Today…

2011-11-15T04:23:00.001-08:00

What’s up fuckers!

You know what’s really pissing me off right now? Women who EXPECT other people, like you and I, to help foot the bill for their kids that they can’t afford!

While eating lunch at an unnamed chain restaurant, let’s call it Rubychillifridaygardenlobsterhorn and in the booth behind me were these two bitches in their late 20s, the one was crying her eyes out about not knowing what to do now that she’s pregnant.

Something must be in the fucking water because when I turn on the local news there’s always a story asking people to help some poor single mother with 3 kids from 5 different guys. Yes, we must help her save her house or feed those crumbcrunchers. The shit’s everywhere!! Anyways…back to my fuck story.

Apparently this stupid cunt doesn’t even have a job with health insurance, so she was telling her friend that she was soooooo worried about being denied Medicaid. She told her cunt friend that “I need help, I can’t do this alone.” Hmm, maybe you should have found a man, but that’s too fucking old school for you isn’t?

You should have thought about that before dumbass. There are just too many types of birth control out there, not to mention the morning after pill for me to buy this line of shit. She wanted a baby, she didn’t give two shits worth of thought as to how she’d actually raise the kid or the quality of life that child would have.

If I went around saying fellow taxpayers should fund my dream of my own private cruise ship filled with alcohol and staffed with chefs and horny Brazilian women and 2 midgets people would tell me how stupid I was. They’d tell me to get a job and fund my own fucking fantasy.

Well ladies, that’s what you should fucking do. Nobody owes you a dime, if you want something then do what men do…..plan and work for it.

Peace out fuckers, I’ll see you on the cruise ship!

Technorati Tags: imsurroundedbyfuckingcunts

Everything Happens For a Reason…Right???

2011-11-06T10:04:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…..welcome aboard fuckers!!

You guys send me come crazy ass links to stories, not to mention the crazy and even heartbreaking personal stories that yourself or a friend has gone through. Be it a bitter divorce, insane women, child custody bullshit, there’s a lot of shit going on out there. I think that we all would agree that the ones that hit us the hardest are the ones we witness ourselves, either personally or through a close friend. Today I have one from a close friend who has agreed to allow me to share his story (he will of course remain anonymous so that the fuck crazy cunt can’t sue him!)

So let’s call my buddy Johnny, not to be confused with my other good friend Johnnie Walker, Johnny is separated from his wife and while going through the amazingly slow divorce process in our state we’ve been hanging out, drinking, banging broads, normal guy stuff. Well he ended up meeting some chick that used to work with him. The had worked together for about 6 years, but both were married at the time. Johnny said that he always thought she was hot, but never pursued since they were both married at the time.

Pretty soon him and this gal were glued at the hip, but this was the happiest I’ve seen this fucker in almost 15 years!!! So I said fuck it, she looked like a nice piece of ass, she actually seemed to liked his friends…yes even me. After dating several months she was constantly telling him that nobody had ever treated her as good as he treated her. Fuck, red flag number one, a woman who is used to being treated like shit.

From this point Johnny’s story sounds like one we’ve all seen or heard. She starts heaping all sorts of admiration on to him, telling him how great he is, how lucky she is to be with him. This is a sharp contrast from his marriage where his spirit and wallet were slowly broken down over the years. So I’m not shitting on Johnny for getting caught up in this siren’s call. But a siren call it was.

One thing Johnny was smart about was he got a vasectomy a few years back so that his wife couldn’t have any more “accidents”.

Here’s where this turns into a classic story about your typical American woman. A couple of weeks ago, we were drinking beer and watching some Sunday Night Football. His phone starts to explode with text messages from her, frantic messages about her fucking up and being so in love with Johnny. Next thing we know, there’s a knock at the door and guess who it is?

She’s standing at the door, makeup smeared from crying, wearing a dress cut so low that if she breathed too quickly her tits would fly out and so short that the least bit of movement revealed a bit of ass cheek. They went outside to talk and when Johnny came back inside…alone, this is what he told me.

One of her ex-boyfriends was in town and gotten a hold of her, through FaceBook of course, they had been chatting for a while. Yes, this is one of the guys who had cheated on her, did drugs and roughed her up in the past. He happened to be at a local bar and invited her for drinks. So she went and put on the skimpiest dress she owned and met him. Oh did I forget that she had been texting and calling Johnny all day telling him how in love she was with him? Yep, judging by her story and her texts she was telling my buddy how great he was about an hour before she was riding another guy’s cock.

But that’s not all folks!!!! Hells no! This shit is about to go Maury Show!!! Now she has just found out that she’s pregnant. So not only did she dress like a slut, she wasn’t on birth control, she not only decided to have sex with a druggie, she had unprotected sex with the druggie and didn’t even attempt the pullout method.

Being the self-righteous bitch whore that she is, she now thinks that he should forgive her and is telling him how much she needs him during this time, because she’s scared. I told him it was good that he found this out relatively early, that while fun to hang around, she’s a nothing but a common slut.

This pissed him off of course until I asked him, if she’s not a slut then who is? If a woman can tell one guy that she is sooooo in love with him, then an hour later be riding raw on top of another guy…if that woman isn’t a slut than what is?

The thing that gets me is that she is actually trying to shame him! She even said that if he can’t stay with her then he’s a coward. What? Coward? How about fucking he’s a normal human being who doesn’t like being shit on? To her he shouldn’t bring this up because she admitted she made…..a mistake. NO CUNT, you made a series of decisions!

He let me listen to one of the 6,000,000 voicemail messages that she’s left since dumping her where this bitch actually said…and I shall quote: “I believe everything happens for a reason, god is testing me…”

Look I’m not even fucking religious but it pisses me off when people try to bring god into their fucked up decisions! Although she is right about one thing, this did happen for a reason. It happened because she made the decision to not be on any form of birth control, she made the decision to communicate with other guys (if they admit to one, put a zero on it to get the real number of guys she’s talking to), then she made the decision to bang this guy without even using a condom. Yes honey, shit does happen for a reason and in this case the reason is that you are a fucking slut. I can’t even call her a whore, at least a whore values herself enough to have a price.

So Johnny is pretty tore up about this, he said he’s disappointed more than anything. He thought he really knew her, a mistake most of us have made at some point. We give the benefit of the doubt to those who have not yet earned it. Hang in there Johnny, I’ve got a humidor full of cigars and a fridge full of PBR. We’ll get you through this!

You’re now free to join us for Sunday Night Football and PBR!!

Technorati Tags: avoid marriage,marriage sucks,american women are fucking whores good for only one thing

Why Can’t the NFL Support Prostate Cancer?

2011-10-11T07:33:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking….welcome aboard fuckers!

Pink in the NFL, are you fucking shitting me?? God-fucking-damn!! Ok, so if us guys are so resistant to going to the doctor as the popular line goes, then why isn’t the NFL which has a predominately male audience address male issues. Or hell, no issues and just play fucking football!

You never see the fucking Lifetime or WE networks doing men’s health month. Yet the NFL is having their players wear pink, not just a little ribbon but pink all over the goddamn place.

Now remember when the players were wanting to wear red, white and blue apparel to remember 9/11? There was actually talk of players being FINED for wearing unauthorized gear. After some serious ass-dragging the NFL finally said that players would not be fined. So fucking nice to see where the league’s priorities are at, not with a national tragedy but with a health issue that affects only a small fraction of their demographic.

Now before some of you broads start yammering about how you luuuvvvv football, yes I realize that there are a tiny fraction of women who actually like the game. As in it’s something you’d turn on even if you were alone in the house. Trust me, usually when it’s kickoff time most women conveniently like to fire up the vacuum, or decide that they need to have a serious conversation about some bullshit, or some other made up fucking emergency that just has to be taken care of right then.

NFL players wearing pink for a month while totally ignoring men’s health issues is just another example of the fucked up world we live in thanks to feminists and political correctness. We’re surrounded by pussy and not the kind you can fuck! Hey, here’s a fucking insane idea….How about we just let them play fucking ball, it’s not like most of you cunts are even watching! FUCK!!

You’re now free to wipe your ass with a pink ribbon.

Technorati Tags: NFL,marriage sucks,avoid marriage,fuck american women,cheerleaders are easy

Where In The Hell Is My Super Bowl Ring??!!!?!!?!!!

2011-09-28T18:50:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So I just wanted to formally announce that I will be suing the Green Bay Packers. Those selfish fuckers have yet to compensate for the time I spent supporting them as a fan!! So I’m suing the fuck out of them, I’m goddamn fuck serious too!

Why? Because I was there!!!! Every fucking game, I was there and my contribution deserves…..no wait….is ENTITLED to be compensated!!! They owe me!!! They wouldn’t have won that championship without me!!!

What did you say? Did I play? Ummmm…..no but I was present! I was there! Oh, did I mention that I was actually cheering for the other team? But that doesn’t matter, I still had on my Green Bay jersey that I bought used off of eBay. In fact, I actually cheered for the other teams the whole fucking season, but……..I was there.

So riddle me this fuckers……….what would my chances be in this case? Get thrown the fuck out of court, fined, laughed at and ridiculed?

So what if I were a woman who gave her husband nothing but fucking fuck grief the whole time their married, plus was passive aggressive in every way against everything he was trying to do……YET some how in spite of his cunt wife this guy manages to become a success and starts rolling in the fucking dough. In that case I could make the exact same claim and end up with a guaranteed lifetime annuity, otherwise known as alimony or vaginamony!

I am sick and fucking tired of these Ameriskanks, who are nothing but a glorified freeloading roommate, taking money from guys who they never did shit to support. To the contrary they bitched every time the guy had to work late. They bitched every time he went to a company function. They bitched every step of the goddamn fucking way to the top, yet once the guy makes it, she wants to take all the fucking credit!!!

Fuck YOU cunt! Being present does not equal being a contributing partner!! Tom Leykis was right when he said that women were dream killers. Hump and dump guys, look after yourself. Fuck these hoes!

You’re now free to Chris Brown a bitch.

Technorati Tags: marriage sucks,avoid marriage,Chris Brown,Green Bay,Super Bowl,alimony,American cunts

Guess Who’s Back!

2011-09-01T17:20:00.001-07:00

This is YOUR Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So today I was sipping on my PBR and going over some recent comments to the blog and much to my surprise and delight I had a comment from none other than the Zero Tolerance Man himself!

Some of the newer readers might not know who that is, so allow me to tell the story.

You see your Captain was not always a free man, no good people, I was fucking married and hating life! I’d stay up late after she’d go to bed just so that I could enjoy some peace and quiet and there I was sitting in front of my laptop.

Some of you may have heard the old anti-drug campaign of “just say no” or Nike’s “just do it”. I Googled “just say no to marriage”, don’t ask me why, I was drunk (no surprise there). But what was a fucking surprise was I got some responses that looked interesting! That’s how I found the blog of the Zero Tolerance Man. This guy was reading my fucking mind! He was pissed! I don’t mean he was some angry, bitter fucker. He was a guy who had enough and wasn’t taking women’s bullshit anymore! In fact I believe his tag line was something like “just say no to insane women”.

Oh hell fuck yeah!!!! But it wasn’t just his blog, it was also the cast of characters he had assembled on his blogroll. Guys like Marky Mark and the Hawaiian Libertarian. And of course one site leads to another and to another, thank God this happened on a weekend because my ass was up late into the night reading all this newfound knowledge. The knowledge that I wasn’t alone in my frustration. That there wasn’t something wrong with me, I wasn’t going crazy, marriage just truly is a bad fucking deal for men.

You’re now free to nut on a hookers face and take your money back.

Technorati Tags: Marriage sucks,avoid marriage,Captain No Marriage,Zero Tolerance Man

Wanna Get Away?

2011-08-20T09:28:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!!!!

So there you are, it’s Friday and the boss is in a good mood so he tells everyone to pack it up and enjoy their weekend! Hot damn, off work early!!!! Right? Or no?

Are you one of those guys who hates going home? Do you dread the moment you walk in the door because you know you’re going to get an earful of bitchiness and complaints?!! I feel your pain, I’ve been there. A lot of guys have been there.

So how do you kill time? Do you stop off at a neighbor bar and pound a few beers so that it will help drown out her shrill voice? Do you stop by a friends house? Are you one of those guys who works out in the evening so that you can get a hour or so extra to yourself?

Or do you stop at some store, hell any store, just to look around at nothing? Do you know where every public park is in your area because you stop there just to kill time. Are you the guy sitting in your car listening to the radio or talking on the phone to whoever you can think of calling.

I’m not talking about screwing around or anything like that. I’m talking about what you do to waste time when the LAST goddamn place you want to go is home to her! To the nagging, to her whining, going home to get criticized for every minor detail of your entire fucking existence! All you want is a moment of peace and fuck quiet!!!

So tell me, did I just describe you? How do you or how did you find time for yourself when the bitch was at home?

You’re now free to shotgun an entire case of beer.

Technorati Tags: Captain No Marriage,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,women's studies

You Selfish Bastard!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-03T18:20:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!

While I readily admit that I am a dirty bastard, I’m getting sick and fuck tit tired of being called a selfish bastard just because I won’t give my hard-earned income and/or time to someone who doesn’t deserve to be pissed on.

Here’s a short list of stuff that some of you have probably been accused of being selfish over.

Not accepting her outrageous baggage. Baggage includes kids, her fucked up childhood and other mental issues, and the fact the last 20 guys beat the shit out of her.
Not helping one of her loser ass family members who have made a career out of fucking up.
Not paying off HER bills that she ran while she was out banging other guys.
Not wanting to have kids of your own……..or in her brain, not wanting “her” kids.

You know what fellas, there is NOTHING wrong with looking out for #1. If you don’t nobody will and I mean NOBODY!!!! There is nothing wrong with working hard and excelling at something and then getting paid well for it.

There is NOTHING wrong with being promoted quicker than your peers. (hell maybe your peers are fucking idiots!)

There is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be saddled with a bunch of debt for shit you don’t really want or need. Like shit from Rooms to Hoe or any other bullshit purchases that women love to make. Women love to spend money on shit that becomes worthless before you can even get it out the fucking door.

BE FUCKING SELFISH!!!!

Look out for you!!

Hey, I’m not a total dick, I do give quite generously to charities that I like, but a girlfriend or her family is not a fucking charity!!

Guys don’t listen to anyone who tries to tear you down as you move up, just leave their fucking fuck ass down at the fucking bottom!

You’re now free to make to the top and then blow your bonus on shit you like.

Technorati Tags: avoid marriage,marriage sucks,selfish,fuck american women,women's studies

Bipolar? Not My Fucking Problem!

2011-08-03T17:47:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!

Newsflash: Your mental condition, whatever it may be, is not my problem. I am not giving you some kind of get out of jail card just because your mom fucked an abusive asshole and you to see some of the resulting action.

Guys, if she is having episodes of batshit crazy then that is nature’s way of telling you it’s time to get the fuck out!

Her mental problems are NOT yours. You are not a bad person for not wanting to deal with a mentally ill person. For one, they will drag you down in to their crazy fuck life.

By the way, this includes women who act like a total cunt one week a month and then blame it on being hormonal. That’s a sure red flag!!!

Now guys, we’ve all been there back when we first started dating and didn’t have a lot of experience. We met some chick, looked good and shagged well! But that’s not all!!!!!!!!!!

She’s unstable, but she constantly blames YOU! Everything is your fault! You don’t do this right, you don’t do that right, hell you can’t seem to do anything right!!! What the hell happen to that hot cool chick you met just a few short months ago? And when you’re young and inexperienced you might actually begin to wonder what’s wrong with you! You might even begin to think you’re going fucking crazy!!!!!

But you’re not crazy, you’re just with a CRAZY bitch!!!

The last thing I want when I go on a date is to have to guess which fucking personality is going to show up.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if a woman mentions happy pills or if you spot head meds in her bathroom……………..RUN!!! Run silent, run deep, just fucking RUN!!!

You’re now free to run a train on a day-shift stripper.

Technorati Tags: Captain No Marriage,women's studies,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,cunts

A Single Mother’s Question

2011-07-02T14:23:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

So as the song goes, “I woke up this morning and I grabbed myself a beer…” I also woke up to a comment/question from a single mom (Tina) about one of the many posts I’ve done about why guys should avoid single mothers. Here’s Tina’s comment:

Is there any single mom worth a man’s companionship?
What about a mom who treats her ex with respect, doesn’t allow bad mouthing of him, has custody of the kids, pays for the kids expenses, gave her ex most of the assets, and understands that the world does not revolve around her precious perfect angels…
It is understandable that dating a single parent is challenging in the best of situations – But all single mom’s are shit?
I grew up hearing men our worthless and my parents were married until I was 25. Now that I have two boys of my own I have become painfully aware of how my “men are useless” upbringing has been damaging to me and those around me.
I totally get where you are coming from in these post and I agree that single mom’s are raising entire generations of messed up kids. It just sucks to think a potentially great guy would not give me a slight chance simply because I’m a single mom.

First off Tina I actually did a post about a “good” single mom, you can find it here. But I shall cover some of those points again now.

Tina, lets say for the sake of argument that you are a great woman, but as you said yourself…..dating a single mother is a challenge even in the best of situations. Plus you didn’t mention what kind of guy your ex was. Is he a loser that’s in and out of jail who loves to cause trouble, does he call multiple times a week just to “talk to the kids”, does he pay child support or would that be something your new guy would eventually have to cover if he got with you?

You have to look at the odds of many situations in life. For example, I can remember at summer camp the camp counselors would tell all the kids to treat all snakes as if they were poisonous. They didn’t say they ALL were poisonous, but that it was a much better idea to treat them as such and avoid them than to look at one and decide on your own that it isn’t dangerous and you end up getting bit by a rattlesnake.

ALL single moms aren’t bad people but you pretty much have to get bitten in order to find out for sure. The odds are that getting with a single mom is a bad idea.

And Tina, since you want a “great guy”, I’m sure that kind of guy has lots of other options and you have to be aware of your competition. A great guy can date great women without any kids. A woman that doesn’t he doesn’t have to wait until the kids go to sleep or she finds a babysitter so that they can have sex. A woman that can go to the beach on a moment’s notice. A woman who doesn’t have a guy she used to bang as a permanent part of her life forever. A woman who doesn’t have little replicas of that guy she used to bang running around the house to remind him that someone else got you back when you were younger and hotter.

Also kids love to play parents and other adults against each other. Many a guy who has gotten with a single mother has heard a phrase like “You’re not my real dad!!”. Ahhhh, the joys of step-parenthood.

But I’m an open-minded kind of drunk, so Tina if you or any other single mother would like to explain why a successful guy would choose a single mother over a woman without kids……….. I’m sure my readers would love to hear that one! Good luck because that’s a pretty hard sell. I think if you give a guy the choice between two great women and the only difference is one of them has kids…………..I’m betting most guys are going with the childless chick.

Ok fuckers, that’s it for now. I doubt we’ll get any actual responses outside of the usual personal attacks, which just proves our point.

You’re now free to lick PBR off a nice Brazilian ass.

Technorati Tags: Brazil,ass,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,avoid single mothers,women's studies

Planned Parenthood

2011-06-26T18:22:00.001-07:00

Technorati Tags: skank,single mothers,sluts,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,women's studies,fuck american women,whores

More Proof (as if you need any) That Single Mothers are Bad News!

2011-06-24T04:30:00.001-07:00

What’s up fuckers!

There’s an excellent article over at Niceguy’s Page written by Oxygenthief called “Dodging a Bullet”.

A perfect title for a tale about a close encounter of the skank kind.

Enjoy and always remember what Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre taught us….

Technorati Tags: bitches ain't shit,unified bitch theory,women's studies,single mothers,avoid marriage,marriage sucks

Crazy Comes in Many Forms

2011-06-23T18:50:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

Some crazy bitches are easy to spot. They go out of their way to let the whole world know that they’re fucked up.

But then you have the ones who are just as bat fuck shit crazy, but just do a better job at holding it together. In fact, some of these bitches will make you think you are the crazy one, but that’s just one of their tricks.

Just a few of the things that these bitches do is they take whatever you say and completely twist it around. Ever seen a news conference where the reporter asks the politician one question and the guy answers a totally different question? That’s what happens here you say one thing and she accuses you of saying something COMPLETELY fuck different.

Which that leads into another tactic where they are always accusing you of saying or doing something to hurt them. Again here you might say one thing then she gets all bent out of shape because even though you didn’t say X, she tells you that you made her feeeeeeeel that way.

They always love to talk about their feelings as if they are fact, all the while ignoring your feelings. Her feelings rule every moment of her day, changing direction like a fart in a hurricane.

These crazy hags also get off on picking out all of your flaws. They beat you over the head about shit that you did in the past or over some habit you have that they don’t approve of. Now while they’re picking you apart not fucking say a word about her faults. Hell fuck no! You’re supposed to overlook her mountain of faults. You’re supposed to look past her 3 kids with a loser or the fact that she spends money like Charlie Sheen goes through coke and porn stars.

If you spot any of these telltale signs then it is time to get the fuck out of Dodge! I don’t care how good the pussy is, how big her tit are, or how well she sucks cock. There are millions /more out there with better pussy, firmer tits and will suck even more cock. Move on to the next one. Cut your losses before you knock the crazy bitch up!

You’re now free to do lines with Charlie Sheen.

Technorati Tags: winning,Captain No Marriage,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,crazy bitches,women's studies

When A Plan Comes Together

2011-06-12T21:13:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!

Just thought I’d take a moment to set down my beer and give some of you fuckers out there some insight on how to get the fuck out of that shit hole of a relationship you’re in. This applies if you’re just living with somebody too, not just marriage. I’ll be covering several common problems/tactics and if I have to break this up into multiple posts I will.

You have to fucking plan. I know that sounds like some gay Dr Fuck Phil shit, but it’s true, it’s damn true. But a plan will also take some pressure off you because there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

1. You fucking have a joint account that you both put all your money into.

Usually in this scenario you both also take out some spending money or some type of allowance or whatever the fuck. This is where you need to quit spending that on $5 coffee and crack whores and put some aside in an account with your name on it only. Just remember to “go green”, as in make sure everything is electronic. Monthly statements, all correspondence in fact; make it paperless. Most banks are more than happy to do this since it saves them money and saves your ass.

2. Your other half keeps buying shit.

Do NOT enter into ANY additional debt! Personal or joint!!! Now that you’ve decided to make a break for the fence you want to be as light on your feet as possible. No new car loans with wifey, no lines of credit, no additional bills that you would be on the hook for! Stand firm on this one guys, getting you buried in debt is a common tactic women use to keep your ass chained to your job and to her ever expanding ass.

3. The bitch likes to snoop.

You have to cover your tracks in multiple areas here. First off, browser history. Most browsers have some type of private mode, make sure you use it. You don’t want your princess to see that you’ve been on apartments.com or reading the Captain No Marriage Blog. If possible don’t share a computer, but even still, clear your browsing history.

Cell phone…., even if you delete your calls she can often still go online and view the call history there. So don’t use your regular cell phone for shit except boring ass calls to her and your normal family and friends. Get some type of cheap ass prepaid, Wal-Mart is a great place to do this. These phones can be recharged through cards that you pay cash for. This is a must if you are fucking around on the side, but even if you aren’t it’s still a great idea for your other half not to know that you were calling the local utilities or checking on that sweet waterfront condo.

4. No more fucking kids!!

This actually goes with the one about not getting yourself deeper into debt. Yes you love your kids, yada, yada, fucking goddamn yada. Kids cost money! If you are unhappy do NOT have another child with someone that you are wanting to leave. In fact minimize sex as much as you can, we all know at least one person who was getting ready to leave when “suddenly” she became pregnant. This is not the time to trust her with the birth control or start using the pull out method.

I could go on but my fucking beer is getting warm. I’ll continue this shit some other time.

You’re now free to respect the van.

Technorati Tags: women's studies,avoid marriage,Captain,Captain No Marriage,marriage sucks,fuck

Oppressed Woman You Are Full of Shit!

2011-05-31T17:43:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

You’ve talked to this chick before, the “oppressed” woman with her sobbinb stories about how unfair life is. Everything and everyone is against her. It’s a wonder she’s made it this far, or so she says. It’s everyone’s fault but her own, society, her parents, her skin color, even god.

I was listening to one such bitch the other day ramble on about how hard it is for her. However in her ramblings she left out some very important backstory. Like the part where she was involved with and got knocked up by felons. Yes, that’s plural, felons.

Now you can probably guess the next part of her story, she has to raise the bastard kids on her own. Well “on her own” meaning healthy support from the gov’t. So now everyone from men to her employer is against her, at least that’s her fucking story.

Well dear it should be obvious why any man with even a modest amount of success would avoid your dumb ass. What guy would want to take over the full bill for two other men’s mistakes?!! You let drug dealers bust load after load in your pussy then you want the guy with the stable career to come in and clean up the mess? Stupid fucking cunt.

Oh and your employer, well maybe if you could go a whole week without having to leave early or take a mental health day then they might actually see you as an asset to the company. Mental note to you dumb broads out there, coming in late and leaving early are not ways to forward your career. Unless you’re trying to forward your ever expanding ass out the fucking door.

So while racism and sexism do exist, it is rarely the driving cause of a person’s woes. It wasn’t this woman’s skin color, fate, or her god that fucked her life up, it was her string of bad decisions that SHE made that fucked her life up and continue to fuck her life up. Bitch, the problem is YOU!

You’re now free to smack your bitch up.

Technorati Tags: avoid marriage,marriage sucks,avoid american women,dumb bitches,race card

Thanks

2011-05-30T19:50:00.001-07:00

What’s up fuckers!

I just wanted to take a moment as this Memorial Day winds down to thank those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that drunks like myself can drink beer and talk shit as a free man.

I also want to give a shout out to all active and reserve military members and also a thanks to their families. Last but definitely not least, a salute to my fellow veterans as well.

Our military is the reason we are free to move about this country.

Technorati Tags: marriage sucks,Captain No Marriage,avoid marriage,Military,memorial day

Avoid Marriage and Avoid Single Mothers!!!!

2011-05-24T17:03:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I know many of you were worried that I was taken up in the rapture that happened this past Saturday. But fear not, I am still here, as are you. So let’s get this shit cracking!

Good news travels fast folks and it didn’t take long for some single mothers trying to hock their tired old wares on your Captain. Yes my friends, these women are trying to convince me to not just buy; but grossly overpay for a vehicle that is high mileage, thoroughly abused, and in serious need of some major body work!!!

Now a few of these clunkers are in decent shape considering all the wear and tear that’s been put on them by guys in the past. You’ve been there right, the used car salesman puts a nice coat of wax on the old banger. It looks great from the road when you drive past at 60 mph.

Then you turn around and pull into the lot to get a closer look and that’s when you see that they parked it so the side that’s smashed in is facing away from the road. You see the tires are flat and bald. You notice the paint is cracked and looks like warm shit. Not to mention that to get the thing running you need a fucking NASCAR pit crew. Even then it mostly just sputters and smokes a lot.

Sound like anyone you know? Like the kind of chick who looks great in jeans, then when you get them off of her you feel like you’re participating in the fucking moon landing!!!

And the tits, OMFG the tits!!! Major source of false advertising there!! Ladies, I know they make bras that can make you look really good with your shirt on, but eventually you’ll have to take that shirt off and we will see your rack that looks like someone vomited into a couple of gym socks from where you cranked out a bunch of kids. Plus ladies if you are an A cup, your water bra isn’t fooling shit!!!!

So beware of these charlatans gentlemen! Don’t fall for it, don’t do the U-turn, just keep on driving right past! I haven’t even gotten to all the fucking baggage these broads carry around…..I’ll do that next time. Same fuck time, same fuck channel.

You’re now free to motorboat your sister’s best friend.

Technorati Tags: women's studies,marriage sucks,avoid marriage,single mothers,fuck american women,whores

Avoid Marriage Files: Women’s Bullshit

2011-05-09T16:15:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Yet again I hear a perfect of women’s bullshit while on the job. This falls into the category of “not all women are like that”, a topic we’ve covered before but since this bitch sees fit to bring it up at work all the time I’ll bring it up here.

This is the chick who got knocked up by a loser and had to drop out of college, then married the loser and decided to have a second kid with the loser. My prediction is of course that she’ll be pregnant with a third kid from this loser by year end. Oh, and she’s on gov’t assistance so you and I are paying for her little rugrats. Just thought I’d throw that little fact in.

This chick and one of her “proud” single mother friends were talking about how if they left the loser they were with that they wouldn’t take anything. “He could have it all!” as the one sloppy bitch put it.

Yes, have it all!!! But all of what? All of their Wal-Mart book cases that fall apart the moment you fart on them? All of their over-priced, low quality rent-to-own furniture? All the riches of some guy who doesn’t even make $20k a year at the age of 30? Wow!!! That’s so fucking nice of her!!!!

Women like this love to try to snag a decent guy now that they’ve been knocked up multiple times by a loser. But gentlemen, do NOT fall for this bullshit! The only reason these cunts wouldn’t take anything from their loser lovers is because there isn’t shit to fucking fuck take!!!!!!

That’s like me saying I wouldn’t fuck Oprah to help the war effort. So fucking what? I wouldn’t of fucked her anyways!!!!!!!

Motherfuck fucking goddamn ass raping fuck these dumb cunts drive me crazy!! But on a happy note, we all know that most women don’t discover what a 401K is until they’re around age 56. So these dumb human Xerox machines will be eating catfood when they get old. Joke’s on you tramp!

You’re now free to move about the trailer park!

Technorati Tags: Captain No Marriage,women's studies,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,fuck american women,whores

Freedom

2011-05-08T17:53:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

My friends, your Captain has a very special announcement. It’s been a minute since I’ve posted and I’m sure most of you thought I was out fucking various foreign women and telling them that the path to citizenship involved swallowing my load.

Well, you’re only half right. Your Captain has been setting up his his new lakefront bachelor pad. Yes fuckers, your Captain has climbed aboard the Freedom Train.

While for obvious reasons I will not discuss any alleged legal proceedings, you can rest assured that you will be getting my usual drunken rage commentary on single life.

Yes fuckers, I am now free to bang about the cabin.

Technorati Tags: tits,avoid marriage,marriage sucks,no marriage,women's studies,fuck american women,whores

Newsflash: Marriage Sucks ……Still!

2011-04-19T16:28:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!

While talking to a buddy of mine today in my office, we heard the shrill sound of a old hag’s voice as it carried across the office “All men are stupid!”

Actually this particular warpig loves to frequently complain about how stupid her husband is and about how lost he’d be without her. This of course gets the other dried up hens echoing the same brainless chatter.

Of course if the sexes in this scenario were reversed, all the men would have been fired for such “offensive” comments. Yet just like on television, it’s supposedly funny to make fun of guys.

The real joke is on these typical loud mouth American bitches, too bad they’re drinking too much of their own kool-aid to figure it the fuck out. They don’t have a husband, they have a hostage. A hostage who if he did decide to leave would be stripped of not just his current assets, but his future assets including his retirement!

Now I’m sure you younger guys out there can’t ever imagine your little cupcake turning into one of these disrespectful, shrill, old hags. The truth is that she’ll actually turn into a disrespectful, shrill young hag, then as time progresses she’ll become the crabby old bitch that her mother probably is today.

Trust me, if marriage kicked ass you’d be hearing about it from your married friends. We’re not sitting on some fucking golden ticket here, let me tell ya!!! Have you ever had one of your buds talk about how ever since marrying his wife she goes to the gym more, loves blow jobs, can’t get enough sex, cooks dinner every night, doesn’t try to change him………you get the point.

That shit NEVER happens, especially the so called “perfect couple”, if you get the guy off to himself and a few beers in him he’ll open up about how little sex he really gets, about how he’s one minute away from financial ruin because of all her spending, basically he’ll tell you just how perfect they are NOT!

Cherish your freedom gentlemen and do not give it away lightly, it will cost you a shit ton to get it back!!!!

You’re now free to drop a load in the bitch’s eye without prior warning.

Technorati Tags: ass,women's studies,marriage sucks,avoid marriage,fuck marriage

Alimony Goes Belly Up

2011-04-17T15:03:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Yet another great link dropped into my lap from Blackchild. It’s a one page article from the New York Post that you can see here.

Now we all know idiots who call into work, then post pictures of them out at the beach or on a lake and later wonder how they got busted ( and why they got fired). This broad fits right in with that group of idiots.

Being your typical NYC ball-busting bitch, she was looking to get LIFETIME ALIMONY from her soon to be ex husband because she was ~~a greedy bitch who doesn’t want to work~~ disabled.

Disabled except for the fact she was able to spend several hours a day belly-dancing. Then our Mensa member decided to blog about her spending several hours a day belly dancing. Then her hubby entered her blogs as evidence and now her hula hoop swinging ass will now have to get a job. (yes I know hula hoops are not a part of belly dancing……..unless you’re in a strip club)

However, read what happened to her, she still got two years of alimony ($400 a month) not much but still since she can obviously work, why give her ANY? Plus she still gets 40% of the proceeds from the sale of the house that probably was paid for 100% by the husband.

So basically you have another of a case where a woman is busted trying to commit FRAUD and nobody gives a shit. Poor oppressed woman, must be tough not having to live by the same laws that the rest of us have too.

Let’s see, the CDC say’s average life expectancy is about 78, which for her old ass would have meant 35 years of payments at $850 per month for a nominal total of $357,000!!! So in other words this bitch tried to mug her husband for well over a quarter of a million dollars and she gets nothing for it! Nice, really fucking nice.

So guys this is what you get with an American woman, a fraudster. Yes, marriage is all about love, just sign on the dotted line.

You’re now free to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and watch some Shakira videos with the sound turned off and Ozzy playing in the background.

Technorati Tags: marriage sucks,avoid marriage,women's studies,vaginamony,alimony

Marriage Sucks! Just Fuck Foreign Women……like Vida Guerra!

2011-04-14T17:28:00.001-07:00

Technorati Tags: Captain No Marriage,marriage sucks,avoid marriage,Vida,ass,thong,american women suck,women's studies

What It’s All About……

2011-04-09T20:11:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

I just wanted to take a minute to remind everyone what this blog is about. Well it’s mainly the rantings of a drunk, but it’s more than that……..barely.

These are the conversations that happen all across the world in garages, basements, spare rooms, where ever there is a beer fridge. The conversations that happen when the wife or girlfriend is gone and it’s just you, your friends and the booze.

While I do support what various Men’s Rights groups are doing, I am not a hardcore MRA. However I have learned a lot about the how and why to a lot of the shit I see going on in society. So I raise my beer to them for that.

I’m just a regular frustrated guy who woke up one day and said to himself “What the fuck have I done?”. I also make half-ass observations of whatever else catches my attention. Usually shit I write about is sparked by something that either happens to me or someone I know, or from a really cool porn site.

Now if someone gets introduced the MRA movement through this blog and the various links that I have to serious MRAs, then fan-fucking-tastic. That can be my contribution to the cause. There are some great MRAs out there such as Marc Rudov, Paul Elam, Bernard Chapin, and countless others. I look to them when I want the latest happenings on the MRA front.

So while those gentlemen tackle complex social and political issues, I’ll be tackling such probing questions like if bitches don’t want me staring at their ass then why are they wearing short shorts with “Juicy” written across the back?

So fuckers, thanks for stopping by this clusterfuck of a site. Since you’re here, go ahead and grab a beer out of the fridge. Let’s talk about some shit!

You’re now free to smack her juicy ass.

Technorati Tags: women's studies,marriage sucks,avoid marriage,fuck marriage

Classic Truth

2011-04-03T19:33:00.001-07:00

This picture has been around the net for a while, but dammit it’s the FUCKING TRUTH ladies!!!

Just sayin!!!

Technorati Tags: ass,thong,Captain No Marriage,marriage sucks,avoid marriage

Women Of Wal-Mart

2011-03-30T17:42:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

So the bitches are suing Wal-Mart. Apparently these broads are just now discovering that getting knocked up in middle school and then getting a job in retail doesn’t pay very well. Who knew?

Maybe the women at Wally World are pulling the same shit that women in other companies are pulling? It’s no secret that Wal-Mart has a way of filtering out those who cannot hack it in management. They promote you to assistant manager, then they work the piss out of you.

No mental health days, no going home half-way through your day to pick up your waterhead kid you had when you were 16 and smoked meth every day so now the kid is all fucked up.

Wal-Mart believes in this crazy notion that you have to prove yourself before you go anywhere. Yes, I know that’s so 1970, but they didn’t become the largest private employer by promoting people just for the fuck of it.

You see they are in business to make money, that’s what businesses do. They are not charity organizations there to support you and your shitty life choices.

The reason why women at Wal-Mart aren’t promoted at the same rate as men is the same as in any other company. It’s the men who are working 70 and 80 hours a week. It’s the men who show up to work and aren’t taking mental health days. It’s the men who don’t take months off to have a baby. If you want the same opportunities as men well you cunts need to put forth the same effort as men and don’t expect a fucking medal. Just show up and do your goddamn job.

But it’s much easier to blame someone else for your shitty performance rating, isn’t it? That’s the thing about these fucking cum dumpsters here in America. They never even entertain the fucking thought that the root of the problem is actually THEM!! Well Skankasaurus the problem is YOU!

Plus if these broads were such great business material then why the fuck didn’t they just start their own business? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s right, that involves fucking work! I forgot! You dirty clams don’t like that shit!

Fuck these skanks. I say Go WAL-MART. Maybe next time you girls might get this thing called an education. Nah, that’s work too. Fuck of fucktits!

You’re now free to bang some chick who works at Target.

Technorati Tags: marriage sucks,fuck marriage,Wal-Mart,women's studies,no marriage,captain

My Big-Ass Mail Sack, Single Moms Still a No!!!

2011-03-21T18:50:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

I get all kinds of crazy shit in my inbox, mostly hate mail from some meth skank who is pissed off because her twat drags the ground when she walks. But this time I found a cry for help from a reader. I’ve changed the name to protect his dumb ass.

Hey Captain,

I’ve been reading your blog for a couple months now and you make me laugh every time I log on to my laptop. But I have a problem that I hope you could help me with. I’m a 31yr old guy who just finished graduate school. I have an ok job now making ok money, but I have a chance to possibly get another job with an awesome company in a larger city. I’ll get around a $20k raise and I’ll be making over $100k in about 5yrs if I stick with it. The problem is at my current job I met a really cool girl. She’s great! I know what you’re thinking but she really is fun to be around even with our clothes on. She’s not like most American bitches. Hell, she even cooks!

But, she is going through a divorce right now. Her kids dad is pretty much a loser who doesn’t want to help her out in any way with the kids. She got with him when she was young, but now she has matured and realizes her mistake. I know money isn’t everything so should I put off getting a new job for a little bit just to help her out? I’d feel like a jerk if I just went for the money and didn’t worry about her.

Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Byron

Ok, “Byron” thanks for dropping me a line. So let’s take it from the fucking top. You probably went to graduate school for the same reason that most of us go to graduate school…………to make MONEY! You obviously had some kind of plan in place, don’t let a piece of ass get in the way, especially a high-mileage with a shit ton of baggage!

Newsflash: All single moms who have losers for an ex and need to find a new sucker to pay all their bills are………wait for it………….really cool girls. It’s called bait and switch! She has to play nice, she’s damaged goods!!

But Byron, I don’t know what field you are in, but if your profession is like mine you can’t afford to get dragged down into the mud with a bunch of parental trailer trash drama. What happens when the loser takes a swing at you? Or better yet beats her up then you put on your Capt Save A Skank cape and slug him and guess who she’ll be crying over when the cops arrive? It won’t be you Ace, it’ll be the father of her bastard children. You will be the one in the slammer!!

Tell me, how well does a felony go with your graduate degree? What would your income potential be as a convicted felon? You said right now your next gig would take you into the six figure range, so multiply that out by 20 or 30 years. This is MILLIONS of fucking dollars we’re talking about here you fuck! Goddamn! Wake the fuck up!

You think some bitch who has already shit out some future car-jackers out of her twat is worth MILLIONS of dollars? Are you fucking tit lick serious?

Stop talking to this bitch TODAY! Do NOT take her calls, do not answer her texts. Get the fuck away from her as fast as you can and from now on no more fishing off the company pier! Find your pussy elsewhere and without all the baggage.

To quote Tom Leykis “DUMP THAT BITCH!!!!”

Soooooo, what say the rest of you to Byron?

You’re now free to dump that bitch.

Technorati Tags: avoid single mothers,pussy,wtf,dump that bitch,Leykis

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Fuckers!

2011-03-17T19:14:00.001-07:00

Hey bitch! Go get me a fuckin green beer!

And suck my dick…….or cock!!!

Can’t Find A Good Man?

2011-03-01T13:48:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

Women, especially single mothers, love to stand on their tuna-stained soapbox and tell everyone how there just aren’t any good men left. But do they ever ask why? Maybe this offers a clue?

Ahhhh yes, single motherhood in action. Ladies, the reason there are less “real men” around is because single mothers are raising kids like that. You are the reason, yes you ya dumb deadbeat riding skank!

It’s the economy stupid…..no wait…..wrong post…….it’s your vagina stupid!! (that’s the ticket!)

You see when you decide to that you don’t need a man and that you can do it all “on your own” (on your meaning with a man’s money, state assistance or both) this is what you get.

I could go on explaining this but fuck that, my beer is getting warm and every guy reading this knows exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. Even my two female readers understand. So I’m out, let these bitches whine about the lack of men, they need to look in the goddamn mirror, then they need to smash their face into it, then they need to suck my cock……wait…..suck my cock then smash your face. Yeah, that’ll work.

You’re now free to do coke off a hookers ass, just don’t do it at the end of her shift.

Technorati Tags: American Women,men,single mothers,divorce,marriage,fuck

Blast From the Fucking Past

2011-02-23T17:43:00.001-08:00

Greetings fuckers. Believe it or not, there was a time when I only had two readers. Now that number had doubled! So I would like to take this chance to spotlight some older shit I wrote back in the day.

In other words, I’m too drunk……no wait….no such thing……..I’m to lazy tonight to write a new post. So I’m going green fuckers!

Here’s a CNM classic entitled: “Just Say No to Women on Medication”

This is your Captain speaking……..

If a woman you are dealing with is on, or has ever been on any type of antidepressant medication, you need to run. Run Forrest, run as fast as you can. This a red flag. Now this is something that they can mask in the short term, especially since most mental bitches are great in bed, it distracts you from her mental instability.

Beware if they try to rationalize it by telling you that “all women are crazy” or some similar line. There’s a reason they’re on meds, you do not want to stick around long enough to find out why. For one, it will always be your fault, hell I even had one bitch blame me for a ticket that she got. Typical spoiled American bitch, blames everyone else for her problems except her. This is one of many examples why you should avoid bitches on meds. Last thing you want is some manic depressive bitch going between personalities like a fucking light switch. Talk about being dragged down by someone! If you have to walk on egg shells or wait and see which personality shows up to dinner, then you need to run like fucking hell away from that bitch.

Remember, their mental illness is their issue, not yours, its not your job to understand or help the dumb broad. Men need to stop accepting women’s bullshit and yes that includes so called mental illness. Unless you want a life filled with drama, avoid these backstabbing bitches like the fucking plague that they are. How are you going to get ahead and move forward with your life when you are carrying her lead weight ass around? You won’t, thats because these bitches are also insanely jealous, not just of every other woman, but of ANYTHING that takes away time from her stuck up, entitled, overweight ass.

Its about standards guys, why settle for some over dramatic bitch on meds when you can have a hotter normal chick. Its not like you need to marry any of them, but the bitches on meds aren’t even worth the sex. Take charge guys, don’t keep putting up with women’s bad behavior.

You are now free to move about my nutsack.

Technorati Tags: bitches,american Women,marriage,depression,sluts,cunts,fuck this shit

Happy Marc Rudov Day

2011-02-14T16:42:00.000-08:00

What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism. Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site. I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!

As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism--as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.

Trends

2011-02-10T18:14:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Lots of divorce stories in the news this week. I can’t help to notice a trend in some of the celebrity divorces coming about.

Take Charlie Sheen for example, married in 2008, now has to pay $55,000 a month, yes a fucking MONTH!!!….for child support. Ashlee Simpson also filed for divorce after her 3 year marriage but not before she found time to shit out a kid also.

Now this not just a celebrity deal, I see it all the time. Woman goes from being perfect girlfriend to never happy bitch wife and is knocked up, by accident of course within the first year of the marriage. Then before the kid even is barely out of diapers the couple some how “grows apart”.

A lot of times if the guy is well off, she’ll crank out two or three kids in rapid succession, be a stay at home mom and secure both a healthy alimony and child support payment from the poor sucker who married her ever expanding ass.

Tom Leykis used to tell his listeners to wait until you’ve been married 5 years before you have kids. That is of course if you were just determined to be married and to raise a family, children were the only reason he’d ever be ok with marriage however he would still point out that while it was good for the child it was still not good for the man. I completely agree.

I also agree with waiting 5 years. Just think of all the relationships that were in the shitter by year 3 or 4!! I know lots of guys whose wives conveniently got knocked up right before they decided they wanted a divorce. Leaving the guy stuck paying an 18 year annuity, tax free for her!!

Gentlemen, your sperm are like blank checks or a debit card with the pin written on the back. Actually worse because if a thief steals your debit card he can only get what’s in there today. If a woman gets a hold of your sperm she gets her claws into what you have for the next two decades!!!!

You’re now free to blow a load in her eye.

Technorati Tags: ass,money,marriage,divorce,child support,alimony,kids,avoid marriage

I Want More Money Because I Have A Gaping Hole Between My Legs!

2011-02-02T19:43:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard you fuckers!

So this is what I hear at work today…….”I deserve a raise, this place is lucky to have me, blah, blah, I’m a stupid bitch blah, blah, blah.”

A little background on this chick:

Likes to leave the office early claiming she’s going to “work from home”.
Takes frequent mental health days.
Claims she knows more about the company than everyone else in the office, more than the board, more than the founders of the company, more than god.
Has to ask a million stupid ass questions every time she’s in a meeting just to try and show everyone how “smart” she is.

Well dear, here’s the truth, YOU are lucky that the company has kept you. YOU are fucking lucky to even have a job since if you did get fired you’d be out on your ass without any education to back you up. YOU might try showing the fuck up to work and staying your ever-widening ass in your fucking for a full goddamn day.

The glass ceiling does exist, BUT it’s a self-imposed glass ceiling. Your life is a result of your decisions girls. If you choose to have kids in order to lock into a man’s wallet then don’t expect to be vice president or director. People in those positions have to show up to work……….every day…………sometimes our days off (actually at this level there are no days off really).

Business is not the fucking Special Olympics, sorry Sarah Palin no free pass on this one. Girls if you want the same results as men in the work place then you need to put in the same amount of effort. Until then shut your goddamn tuna hole!

You’re now free to shit in the park.

Technorati Tags: dumb whore,workplace,office,work,career women,glass ceiling,bullshit,cunt

Time and Time Again

2011-01-26T15:48:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!

So how many of you have gotten the “don’t give up” speech when you’ve said that you will NEVER get married again? Usually from a woman of course, which makes sense since most women suck at math.

Statistics vary but it’s pretty well accepted that around 2/3 of all second marriages fail and 3/4 of all third marriages fail. Oh yes, you’re smarter this time, right? You sure are Skippy, just like you thought the first time you got on this merry-go-round that you’d be in the 50% of first marriages that didn’t fail.

Listen, leave the fucking gambling to the guys in the World Series of Poker….(or is it Poke-Her?)

You need to ask yourself why you are even considering this, when you get your answer then you solve THAT particular problem instead of fucking yourself in the ass a second or third time in court. If you love lawyers that much then take yo azz to law skool!!!

If you are a broke fuck and chubby Diana is the only one that will fuck you then get your shit straight and stop being a loser. If you were never a ladies man and you’re worried that it will be worse now that your older…..well read up on some game. Not that game is the end-all be-all, but it’s a starting point if you don’t have a shit-fuck clue. Go check out some guys like Assanova or the dozens of other blogs out there.

If SHE is pushing you then you really need to ask why! Is she in debt? Is she tired of staying in shape to attract a man and she can’t wait to pork up to 563lbs, is she one of those women who claims that she's “already had her fun” and now wants you to foot the bill? A chick with no life plan, no retirement (except you), no career, no life savings?

If that’s the case then fuck her (don’t knock the bitch up) until she moves on to another sucker. You just keep looking out for you because in the end that’s who has to live with your choices, YOU, numbnuts.

You’re now free smoke in the cabin and yell “BITCHES AIN’T SHIT!”

Technorati Tags: marriage,bullshit,pussy,divorce,family court,dads,fathers,money

This Is Not an Abortion Post

2011-01-15T20:07:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………………welcome aboard fuckers!

During my brief stint on Facebook (yes surprise surprise my account was deactivated), I engaged the femicunts on various ground-breaking issues such as why more women don’t look like my favorite porn star to abortion to sucking my cock. The abortion one really pissed them off. Forget where you fall on that subject for a moment and take a trip with me.

They were saying that a woman should never be forced to have a baby, they said that they should have a choice, blah, blah, blah. So I said that was such a fantastic idea that we should extend the same rights to men! Men should not be forced to be a father just like women shouldn’t be forced to be a mother. Yes, brilliant!

This sent these bitches completely batshit! They started using the same arguments that the prolifers use against them! They said the guy made the choice when he had sex, he should keep his pants on, they questioned my manhood etc…..they went right into the shaming language.

Suddenly these women were talking about how men and women were different! Well how goddamn convenient, you picked a fine time to not be equal Lucille!

Typical feminist line of bullshit, they only want to be equal. So I say give the people what they want! Give these bitches their fucking equality because as Paul Elam points out is this well thought out video, “equality is a cruel master”.

As usual, American women just want to be equal when it suits them. I guarantee that if women knew that THEY might have to be 100% responsible for a child then suddenly these women would start recognizing deadbeats, they’d remember to take their pill and they wouldn’t get knocked up just to try and keep the guy from leaving. They want us to take the gamble and hope that she didn’t forget her pill or that the condom doesn’t break. Fuck that, fuck them and fuck off!

You’re now free to look at pictures of female volleyball players.

Technorati Tags: abortion,prochoice,prolife,Obama,government,politics,Roe,courts,money

Enter the Inferno

2011-01-10T18:57:00.001-08:00

What’s up fuckers. I was on YouTube checking out thong videos and I took some time to check in on Chapin’s Inferno and found this gem. He does some great work and this just one of millions of fine examples. Enjoy fuckers.

Shit To Read A.K.A. My Half-Assed Blog Review

2011-01-06T16:44:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers!

Ok, I have a shit-ton of shit in my blogroll. Some stuff if quite different than what you will read here and that’s by design. I figure no use in linking to a bunch of carbon copies of the same ole shit. As my pile of blogroll shit gets stacked higher and higher it could become difficult to notice new shit.

Hence, my half-assed blog review.

I found one funny ass blog a while back. Men-Factor. Not just a funny blog but also a very truthful one, which makes sense since great humor is often based off well known truths. I laughed so hard at that particular post I had to run outside and shit in the neighbor’s front yard. Because it’s oh so funny and oh so true.

So take some time to check out the Scarecrow’s blog, Men-Factor and show DICK some respect!

You’re now free to go aimlessly fuck around Al Gore’s internet

I told you this review shit was half assed…………..

World’s Greatest Fairy Tale

2011-01-04T17:11:00.001-08:00

I spotted this on Eman’s blog. It’s fucking gold!

2011

2011-01-02T17:48:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

Instead of me rambling on about what I have planned for the New Year, I’d like to take the time to share what my New Year hopes and wishes are for you fuckers, because I’m that kind of guy.

I hope that crazy bitch that drunk dials you but doesn’t put out loses your number.
I hope that throughout the course of 2011 that you do not meet a single crazy ass bipolar bitch. (yes I know that one is a stretch)
I hope someone drops off a case of whiskey at your front door and runs.
I hope the price of a lap dance drops.
I hope the legalize prostitution…….ok it’s legal now, they call it marriage, but I mean the fun kind of prostitution where she actually leaves after sex.
I hope Sarah Palin gives up on politics and does porn. (that’s not a political statement, I just want to see her get DP’ed)
I hope that bitch you’re paying alimony to either gets remarried or falls off a cliff.
I hope Maury looks at you and says “You are NOT the father!”
I hope some drunk chick you’ve never met gives you a blow job then disappears from your life.
And last but not least, I hope you get a chance to fuck a feminist up the ass and make her like it.

You are now free to have a Happy Fucking New Year!

Women’s Double Standards

2010-12-20T19:07:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So I was fucking off over on yahoo answers and I came across a question from some chick who got pissed off at her husband and attacked him leaving him with bruises and cuts on his face. Her defense was that he was bothering her all day.

While this cunt’s question was fucking retarded, the responses were equally fucked up. There women blaming HIM! Yeah, you heard me right. These fucking cum traps were blaming the guy for her bad behavior!

Of course if this was a man who hit his wife, he would have been dragged into the public square and hung without a trial.

But that’s not the only fuckery I found. No I found a woman who admits that after getting married and having a kid that she no longer has any interest in sex. Hmmmm, she gets what she wants, her claws into his wallet, and suddenly she has no interest in sex. Yeah that’s perfectly fucking logical you stupid cum basket!!

Once again, the responses were about how the guy needed to do more to get her in the mood. It was all about what he was or wasn’t doing. Not one of these cunts said “ Hey bitch, give up the pussy like you did before you had the poor bastard trapped”. No for some reason that phrase escaped the average American entitlement whore on yahoo answers.

I say bah-fucking-stick a corn cob in your cunt-humbug to these bitches. Fuck you! I’ll just bang Brazilian bitches till the sun goes down on me and my quarts of beer!

You’re now free to bang a Brazilian bitch in the ass, they like it like that.

Deadbeats and Dumb Bitches

2010-12-13T18:50:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

So I’ve been fucking around on FaceBook lately, with my laptop in one hand and a bottle of Johnnie Walker in the other. I ended up on a page about deadbeat dads. Post after post of women whining about how they haven’t gotten child support from their exes.

Yes to their surprise they let a guy who was a drug addict or an abuser or just plain loser knock them up… and now ……they are amazed that these guys aren’t paying child support. How is this possible? These women all have magic vaginas right?

WRONG! Actually in the beginning these women loved all the things about these guys that they’re now bitching about. They loved the dope smoking addict because he was such a free spirit. The controlling, abusive guy really made her pussy drip with anticipation because he was a guy who knew what he wanted.

Of course having to support not only yourself and your kid or kids but also your loser boyfriend/husband gets old after a while. Now these women want to cry “deadbeat” as if the guy has changed, but he hasn’t.

This is just another example of women always playing the victim card. Poor delicate little flowers they are……..my ass! These guys were deadbeats from day one! It’s not the guys fault, it’s the poor decision making on the part of the women to have children with losers!

So girls before you complain about how much of a loser your kids’ father…..or for most of you fathers……..before you start bitching just remember that YOU picked this guy. YOU got pregnant and decided that it’d be a fan-fucking-tastic idea to have a baby with a loser. YOU did this! Put your big girl panties on and shut the fuck up!

You’re now free to smack your bitch up.

Our Friend Sally

2010-12-03T19:54:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

As much as we love to rant and rave about how guys need to avoid single mothers, I know that’s often easier said than done for some guys. Especially if you’re an younger guy who’s just starting out, doesn’t have his career going and isn’t making very much money.

It’s not uncommon to work with some single moms nowadays, so I’m sure some of you have gotten to know a few of these women. While a lot of them remind you of what you read on this and other blogs, there’s always that one isn’t there? The one that doesn’t seem like a complete bitch, the one who made a mistake when she was 16 and is now trying to get her life together.

Let’s call our single mom “Sally”. Now Sally seems pretty cool, she takes good care of herself physically, she’s easy to talk to, hell we might even consider Sally a friend. You tell yourself that she doesn’t fit into what we talk about here, she’s the exception to the rule!

I work with a Sally. She isn’t a feminist, in fact the way she talks about men it’s as if she’s from another country! She’s fun to have around, attractive, she admits HER mistakes, it’s fucking crazy!!!! So some of you guys might say why not pull the trigger?

For the sake of argument, let’s say that Sally doesn’t change and that she is a perfect as she seems…………………you still have other issues to deal with.

The kids’ father or fathers you’ll have to deal with FOR FUCKING EVER!!!!
If you try to live with Sally the kids will probably resent you because you are not dad and they’ll work against you at every turn.
If you and Sally break up but you’ve established a “bond” with her little rugrats then it’s possible you could be liable for child support for bastard children that aren’t even yours!
Sex will revolve around when she can either get a baby sitter or when the kids are asleep (so you can have quiet sex then, what fun)
If you move in or marry her then your vacations won’t be anyplace you actually want to go like Europe or some island resort, oh hell no, your fucking ass will be sweating your tits off at Disney in 90 degree heat in the summer.
Like fine dining? Not with two kids in tow, better get used to the playland at McDonald’s!
Money, from extra food to electricity to little league, you will be covering the expenses for another guy’s kids, even if he does pay child support. YOU will be footing the bill.
And let’s not forget what will happen if she has an “accident” and forgets to take her pill for 2 months. You know she’s not getting an abortion so you get to join her list of losers paying her money every month. Good job Ace.

Gentlemen, I know Sally is a good person, but she is not a good choice.

You’re now free to piss in the road.

Cyber Monday Special

2010-11-29T19:08:00.001-08:00

What’s up fuckers! Here’s some classic Tom Leykis on how women try to get you in the door with a Black Friday or Cyber Monday deal. Don’t fall for it!!

Sex as a loss leader.

What Happens In England……..Probably Won’t Stay In England

2010-11-26T17:33:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

First off, many thanks to Blackchild for bringing this story to my attention. It’s a story from the UK’s Daily Mail about a lotto winner who’s ex-wife that he divorced back in 2000 was able to get her hands on over $3 million (US dollars) of his lotto winnings.

It wasn’t enough that her child support increased from just over $300 a month to over $3000 (US dollars), no that wasn’t enough for this cunt who is spending the money on her new guy. Hey, any bets on how long new guy sticks around after she blows the money?

Keep in mind that this guy had already intended to give his ex wife a “big gift”. If you ever needed evidence that when it comes to Western women that being a nice guy NEVER pays, there you go.

It’s bad enough that there’s this notion that when a couple is married and the man is successful that the woman had something to do with his success even though most times she’s actually a handicap. But how in the blue hell did we get to the point where a woman is entitled to money years after the divorce?

So since she’s entitled to increases in his wealth, what about decreases? It’s basic finance, if you want to share in the gains you should equally share in the losses. Maybe men who find themselves in financial turmoil should sue their ex-wives so that they can share in the liability?

That would be equal and isn’t that what you girls want?

You’re now free to pay hookers with scratch-off tickets.

4 Out Of 10 Americans Have Managed to Pull Their Head Out of Their ASS!

2010-11-18T12:11:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Soooooo, ever so shocking news that 4 out of 10 Americans think that marriage is obsolete. Wow, as if we didn’t see that one coming. This earth-shattering study was conducted by the Pew Research Center.

The only people who wouldn’t think that marriage is obsolete are the ones who are living off the marriage tit…..women. They have nothing to lose in marriage!

Say what you want about Tiger Woods, but if the situation was reversed, he’d still have to pay out the ass!! Of course the press would probably put the OJ spin on it and still blame him. Once she said “I do” it was only a matter of time before she cashed the check.

So for women marriage isn’t obsolete because it does exactly what they want it to do………..transfer wealth from the people who earn it (men) to those who don’t (women).

4 out of 10 Americans are right, marriage is a steaming shit sandwich served with a side of dirty ass.

You’re now free to wash your dirty ass.

Technorati Tags: Woods,marriage,cunts,whores,American Women,money,alimony,fuck

How the Fed Works

2010-11-15T15:12:00.001-08:00

This shit’s funny because it’s true.

Technorati Tags: Federal Reserve,Fed,Ben Bernanke,Obama,Economy,recession,recovery,money

How did YOU get here??

2010-11-12T19:20:00.001-08:00

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

Ever wonder how people find this shit hole corner of the internet? Well grab a hooker because you’re in luck. I’ve saved some of the search terms that have brought people to this blog. You’re some sick fucks but I love ya.

Piece of shit pinto

Sexy fat American woman blog

Only puff shag women real men shag men

skanks

Beer fucking

Cartoon sword woman

you are special fucktard

bottle up cunt

prince of hell

um you’re a skank go away

skank whore

shitting women in America

fuck you’re fucking fuck

how do fat women take shits?

fuck you then

bipolar cunt

shove a bottle up my ass

ball n chain

stand-up urinals

bitch throwing up cum

new young black pussy fuck

handicap fuking ledies and gents

whore urinal

act like a princess

show me how to fuck a beautiful cunt

worthless cum dump skank

beer bottle fuckers

See told ya. You weird fuckers. Thanks for stopping by.

Technorati Tags: Google,search,common,sex,ass,porn

I’m Not That Kind of Girl

2010-11-06T18:45:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

How often have you heard a woman talk about divorce, specifically about women who clean out their soon to be husbands and say “I’d never do that, I’d only want what’s mine”.

Of course when the marriage is over women tend to think that EVERYTHING is theirs, don’t they.

The ones that amuse me are the married ones who say that they don’t want their husbands money. These women claim that if they left, they wouldn’t go after the guy because……….wait for it…………..wait………..they’re not that kind of woman.

What I’ve noticed about 99.9% of these women is that they are married to losers who don’t have any money to take in the first place. So these suedo-saints are trying to take credit for something that is basically impossible. Big deal honey, you won’t go after your pot smoking boyfriend who works part time in retail. That’s mighty nice of you, I’m sure you could really cash in there.

These women talk as if they’re married to Donald Trump and could get some huge payday. The only reason these women are saying they don’t want their husbands money is because you can’t get something that doesn’t exist. Classic sour grapes!

I guaran-fucking-tee that if these women were with guys bringing down six figures that their tune would change. Suddenly they would claim that they somehow contributed to the guy being where he is. Funny how that retarded saying about every successful man having a woman behind them doesn’t kick in when the guy spends his day asking people “paper or plastic” or is serving a life sentence in prison.

Fellas, when a woman says that she’s not that kind of girl, that’s your signal to run like the fucking wind. Talk about a huge fucking red flag! The women who yell the loudest about not wanting money, are the ones who are all about the money. Avoid these bitches like the plague they are!

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Technorati Tags: money,marriage,prenup,divorce,women,American Women,thong,pussy

Red Flags All Over My Screen

2010-10-30T22:50:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Look what we have here. Another fine contestant from the wonderful world of online dating. A perfect example of what’s wrong with American women. She looks good on the outside, but let’s look at her profile. Starting with her headline.

“Big time fist bump to Match for allowing me a break from the bar scene.”

Nice huh. By the way, she’s 31 and we all know that maintenance costs for a chick like this are worse than for an exotic sports car. But perhaps I’m being too harsh let’s see her opening paragraph.

“So the word is out. I'm single and looking (but there seems to be a serious drought of decent men in Boston's bar scene, and if I have to fend off another douchie guy out there, I might claw my eyes out). So, in the interest of saving my eyes (and my sanity), I am nervously turning to online dating in hopes of finding a nice, quality guy.”

Fuck, where do I begin with that? I could get several posts just from that steaming pile she just laid. Darling I realize that Boston is a really small town………….you stupid cum basket are you serious? You can’t find a guy in a city the size of Boston?

Ladies if you can’t find a “decent” guy it’s because they’re avoiding you! Conversely gentlemen if you hear a woman complain about the lack of good men around that’s your official notice that other intelligent men are avoiding this chick and you should do the same!

But Princess Entitlement doesn’t stop there. She goes on with her laundry list for Mr. Right.

“Someone who is genuine, honest, kind, great sense of humor (definitely an emphasis on this one), clever, active, interested in current events and can hold a conversation, enjoys trying new things and exploring new places, is confident (but not cocky), and is a gentleman whom even mom would approve of, for starters.”

Soooooooooooo……………………………..she want’s to date Jesus.

“I guess this is my opportunity to go on and on about how amazing I am, but I think I'll save that for our first date (and wow the pants off of you. Though not literally. I mean, it's our first date).”

Oh ok, that cleared it up for me. She wants an awesome guy to take her places but doesn’t want any pussy. Good luck with that Princess. You might as well start collecting cats now!

You’re now free jack off on a jack-o-lantern

Technorati Tags: women,dating,online dating,whores,thong,pussy,American Women

Don’t Listen to the “You’re Wasting Your Vote Bullshit”

2010-10-29T18:55:00.001-07:00

I’m a third party kind of guy. I’m pretty much tired of the constant fucking up by both major parties. Not only that but I am guilty of actually going to the various candidates websites and actually reading what they stand for. Fucking insane isn’t it?

So to all those who like to say that unless you’re voting Repube or Demo-rat that you're wasting your vote…….I say go fuck yourself.

Want to know who really is wasting their vote? The fucks who don’t vote, that’s who! Go talk to the nitwit who’s always bitching but isn’t even registered to vote. Or the asstard who bitches about local taxes going up but yet when you talk to them about voting they only vote in “the big elections”.

Now you know who does vote in every election? Old fuckers, that’s right because they have nothing else to do. Old fuckers only do two things, that’s vote and pass judgment on younger people. Is that really who you want making your decisions for you? Have you seen how they drive?

Go fucking vote. Show up drunk and/or high, I don’t give a shit, just vote.

Technorati Tags: politics,Obama,election,vote

And Now For Something Completely Different...........

2010-10-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

Well maybe not completely different. But there will be slight changes of pace thrown this shit hole of a blog in the form of some social/political commentary. Don’t worry fuckers, the Captain will still be doing what I do best. Pissing off bitches and hoes.

So you will now notice two authors in the left side bar. This will help keep shit straight. Don’t fret, I promise the level of stupidity and toilet humor will remain at record lows.

Enjoy fuckers.

I Want More Out of Life

2010-10-27T18:50:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

I want a good life, that’s what I hear a lot from women who have spent their youth banging losers. Funny how they weren’t looking for anything while some dope smoking idiot was dumping load after load into her as she kept shitting out kids. Now that reality is beginning to set in and kick these bitches asses………now they want Poindexter from the IT department to step in and fill the financial void.

Single mothers wanting to start a “new” life, of course it’s only new if you don’t count all the fucking baggage they’re carrying around with them. They want the new guy to pick up the tab for the loser who banged her back when she was at her hottest. Now that she’s giving you the left overs, you also have to pay. Awesome deal huh!

What’s crazy is these women who have spend most of their lives fucking losers suddenly have this incredible sense of entitlement! They demand shit out of Poindexter that their old loser of a sperm donor wouldn’t even consider doing. Now that they’re all worn the fuck out, now they want to have something meaningful.

I know it’s tempting sometimes guys. Sometimes these women actually look good! Just don’t forget it’s the ole bait n switch tactic. Once she gets you locked in, here comes the pounds and there goes the long hair. You can forget about good sex! Blowjobs? Not on your life!

Of course these are some of the same women who lament about not being able to find a good guy. Bitch maybe the fact you have 3 or 4 kids is a fucking factor!!! Do you really think another guy wants to jump in and start paying? Yes everyone can make one mistake but when you let yourself get knocked up by a loser repeatedly, FUCK YOU!

You’re now free to blow a load in some cunt’s hair.

Technorati Tags: fuck american women,whores,tits,cum,thong,ass,booty,mariage,single mothers

“The Destruction of a Good Thing” by Johnny

2010-10-18T17:45:00.001-07:00

What’s up fuckers! First off, thank you to all of you who have left comments on the various rants I have posted on here. Today I wanted to share one with you that you probably haven’t seen. It’s from a slightly different POV than you’d normally read on this blog, which is what makes it interesting. It was left in the “About Your Captain” section. So grab a beer and enjoy.

“The Destruction of a Good Thing”

It truly is a shame that as a result of all of the wealth and blessings we have here in the USA, that the women in this country have absolutely destroyed the institution of marriage. There really isn’t anything wrong with marriage, it’s the simple fact that women in this country have become so incredibly evil, spoiled and selfish, they absolutely have not only destroyed what marriage is supposed to be in the eyes of the Lord. They have destroyed the lives of their husbands and their children as well. After all, you don’t see men going in for abortions do you? The Nazis only murdered 6,000,000 innocent people. American women have wiped out over 50,000,000 unborn children since Roe vs Wade….Now that’s some kind of selfish if you ask me.

I have counted 12, yes 12 friends who were married and are now divorced and ALL of them ended up divorced as the result of their ex-wives. These women either cheated or simply abandoned their families because their lives just wasn’t good enough. UNBELIEVABLE!!! Not a single one of these guys caused their divorces and I asked them all some hard questions. In no way were these guys perfect but they are good guys and all in all, good providers, husbands and fathers.

I also am divorced and my ex-psycho was not only selfish, but lazy, violent and verbally abusive. If ANYONE in this world has the right to say NEVER AGAIN, it’s me. Even after all of that, I still believe in the institution of marriage but I will NEVER, EVER, consider marrying or even dating an American woman. It simply isn’t worth it. If I do get married or consider it in the future, I’m going overseas, specifically to the Ukraine. I have friends who are, like me, divorced from American women and have gone their and are very happy with their Russian/ Ukrainian and Colombian wives. Women from other countries, especially Slavic nations have a much different perspective on life, family and marriage. They would do anything to have a good man to be married to. Something American women don’t seem to understand. That’s fine with me. They can all grow old and alone as far as I’m concerned.

Just wanted to share my perspective.

Johnny

Excellent commentary. Thanks Johnny.

Technorati Tags: abortion,marriage,divorce,American Women,money

The Next Generation of Beaten Dogs

2010-10-16T21:01:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers.

So I made a comment on a site about Marriage 2.0 (no not the Spearhead article). My response was simply that there is no benefit to a man to get married, because there isn’t. The following is a response I received to my comment. I of course interjected my alcohol fueled commentary highlighted in red.

I’m not naming this person because this young man represents a lot of young guys that have grown up with the internet and probably have little or no interpersonal skills out in the real world. Enjoy fuckers.

Marriage actually guarantees quite a bit, for those who are willing to make the sacrifice and do for more than themselves. Sounds like a recipe to get fucked!

Marriage guarantees that you will: have the opportunity to grow in selflessness, be able to have a more keen sense of self and others, understand the intricacies of other people centeredness, What? You have to have a mommy to help you be a better person, you can’t grow on your own?

have a family of your own, grow in emotional intelligence, increase your income and your wealth, Whoa! Stop right the fuck there nitwit. Unless you’re a loser marriage does not increase your wealth, especially when you live in a community property state as most of us do. Talk to some guys who are paying out the ass in child support for kids she wanted and alimony to her while she’s shacked up with her next victim. Ok, let’s continue on…

enjoy the benefits of a consistent and fulfilling sex life, Holy diluted sense of how the real world works Batman! What the fuck do we have here!!! This kid needs to talk to some of the guys he works with that’s been married for a few years. I don’t know of any married guys talking about how their sex life kicks ass or how after they signed on the dotted line how she keeps herself in tip top shape. In fact, we hear the exact opposite. Sure there are some guys who get it regularly but even then you’re getting the same old tired shit regularly.,

have companionship and loyalty, Loyalty? Women initiate 70% of divorces.

build a true home, see the world, build your local community, provide assistance to kids who don’t have a home, and take out the garbage. Take out the garbage? That’s the best you can come up with for a benefit?
Who wouldn’t want to try that?!

I was once a single male. Not much out there. This where the real problem surfaces for this young man. He was probably raised by a single mother who taught him to be a nice guy and we all know how much nice guys get laid. So then he finally found someone with a vagina who would give him the time of day he jumped in with both feet, overlooking all her faults because he was just desperate and without options.

You take a risk either way. If you’re not dating a woman you date your job. If you’re dating someone that you like, but don’t want to get married to, you never have a fulfilling relationship outside of sex. If she wants to be with you and not get married as well, you move in together and then you have a psuedo-marriage. Never live with a bitch!!

So the benefit there, is that you don’t have to come up with lawyer fees, but you have to find a security deposit for your next apartment…lol. Which isn’t hard if you have a career, give up your dream of being a shift manager at Wendy’s and you might be able to afford the security deposit.

You are now free to send cock pics to random chicks. You know they like it.

Just Say NO To Ultimatums

2010-09-27T17:31:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……………..welcome aboard fuckers!!

So I found a great Q&A section over at the Midlife Bachelor’s site, this particular question is from a 42 yr old guy who’s dating a 29 yr old woman. And guess what, she wants to get married!!!

Isn’t that awesome, she’s been banging around for a good decade or so and now she wants to get serious and have this guy foot the bill. She knew her sell-by date was less than a year away and at this point she’s just casting a play, looking for someone to play the part of sperm donor and checkbook. I loved this letter because it’s FULL of red flags.

Tell me is this is typical Ameriskank behavior……

“If something is really important to her, I can tell because she will get really emotional quickly if I don't react the way she thinks I should.”

Or how about this……

‘she got really upset and started crying uncontrollably. Then she got mad at me and said I had better not be wasting her time.’

To all you young guys out there who’ve been dating a nice hot piece of ass, if ANYTHING in that article reminds you of your little princess, then it’s time to get the fuck out!!

I mean, have you ever talked to a guy who got an ultimatum and was happy about it later? Hell the fuck no!

And now a message for the ladies. Girls if you were truly as awesome as you think you are, then you wouldn’t need to give a guy an ultimatum. Ultimatums are just more proof that marriage has nothing to do with love and everything to do with getting the guy to sign on the dotted line.

You are now free to do coke off a call girl.

Technorati Tags: American Women,Ameriskanks,cunts,pussy,marriage,ultimatum,avoid marriage,fuck american women. whores

Expired Cunt Wants Me To Pay For Old Vagina!

2010-09-18T18:14:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!!
A while back I talked about my lack of interest in my class reunion, however I eventually decided to go along with some good friends of mine who I still keep in touch with. There was also a particular female “friend” there also that I have been conversing with via email before the reunion.
This particular woman is someone who I had an interest in back in high school but was unsuccessful in banging her back then. Even after graduation I’d run into her every now and they, we even went to dinner back before I knew any better. Of course back then she was in her twenties and no doubt had plenty of offers rolling in while at that point in my life I had a blue collar job making a shitty hourly wage.
Fast-forward 3 kids and 2 different fathers later for her and an MBA and good paying job for me…………….and what do you know. When we started talking this time there was a spark!! Love is in the goddamn stankin’ air!! Imagine that! But wait folks, that’s not all. She even confessed that she liked me back in school too! Oh happy happy joy joy!!! Then she told me that she wished I had asked her out back then!!
Hang on a second………..I detect a flaw in the slaw here. For fuck sake I tried, I did shit I’d never do now to get that pussy! It was not lack of effort on my part! Don’t you just love how women twist shit around? Let’s take a look at what really went the fuck on.

THEN:

NOW:

In her 20s she was getting all kinds of offers and little Miss Princess could be as picky as she wanted! But now that her ass is knocking on 40 with “multiple baby daddy syndrome” kicking her in the teeth………..she suddenly has a change of heart. Thank goodness my lucky stars!! Oh, did I mention that this chick doesn’t have any kind of career or education to fall back on; her 401k is finding a guy (sucker) to lock in and make him pay!! Speaking of paying, do I even have to mention that one of the father’s is a loser who doesn’t pay child support? Big surprise I know.
Now that all the good prospects have dried up, oh yes now she wants me to come in with my Captain Save-A-Hoe cape and pay all the bills. Pay for the fun all other guys had who got her in her prime, back when the ass was still firm, the tits pointed straight ahead and the pussy was still tight. Yes, now she wants a one on one serious relationship.
To quote an old Saturday Night Live skit…..”Isn’t that special!”
You are now free to bang hookers in Europe.

Technorati Tags: high school reunion,women,thong,ass,cum,beer,Ameriskanks,skank,money,alimony,single mothers

What Kind Of Fuckery Is This???

2010-09-14T18:43:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking………welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Check this shit out, I’ll drink a beer while I wait….

First off, let me say something to this guy that he probably never heard from his wife. Thank you. Thank you for your service to this country.

So this guy has to pay over thirty grand in alimony for the rest of her life, plus another ten grand for child support. I mean his ex-wife who is a fucking nurse gets half of his military retirement? What the fuck for? Why didn’t she have her own retirement? What happened to all this equality bullshit. Oh that’s right, women only want to be equal when it suits them, the rest of the time the bitches want to play the victim.

Now this guy is much nicer than me, no surprise there. I do NOT agree that she is entitled to his military retirement. In fact, in today’s society if a woman chooses to depend on a man and ends up with nothing then she should get nothing, because here in the grown-up world we have to live with the consequences of our decisions girls. Crazy concept, I know. There should NEVER be alimony!!

At the very least if you don’t have a job, then no alimony check and no child support check. If you can’t hold down a goddamn job then you don’t deserve to take money from someone who can, you lazy cunt! Go fuck yourself.

At least if I get a professional hooker she tells me upfront how much money she’s going to take, which is 1000 times more honest than 99.999999999% of American Women.

You’re now free to hire a professional.

Technorati Tags: bullshit,alimony,fuck american women. whores,slavery,modern slave,cosmo,thong,ass,beer,cum,cunts

Have You Heard???

2010-09-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers!!!
Gentlemen what have you heard from your friends lately? My friends and I have been talking about the start of the NFL season, the 80s style shoot em up movie “The Expendables”, and other important stuff like beer and other fine spirits.

Notice how when something kicks ass, everybody talks about it? Whether it’s new brew your buddy just discovered, the latest cool gadget, or that finely put together porn movie, it doesn’t matter; if it’s cool you’re going to hear about it!!
So what do you hear about marriage?????

That’s right, you hear that it fucking sucks ass!! Have at any point in your life has one of your friends called you up or come to your house screaming about how awesome marriage is? Know any guys jumping up and down like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch yelling about how much marriage rocks? Do your married buddies talk about how the sex just gets better every time or how she can’t stop swallowing his load or that his wife is in the best shape of her life after they said “I do”.
No, you don’t do you? In fact you hear the opposite. They
complain about the lack of sex, or that they have to buy it in the form of shopping or dinners. You hear stories about how she completely let herself go as soon as she had him locked in. They describe their wife as battle-ax, the warden, ball-n-chain, buzzkill, and as one of my friends called his wife…..the virgin Mary.
Does marriage sound like a good idea fellas? Are you one of those guys who thinks that they are different? That your girl is different, that you and you alone picked the right one? If that’s the case then you need to play lotto, for one your odds are a lot better.
Marriage is shit guys, trust me. If it kicked ass then those of us who fucked up and made that mistake would be telling you how shit-balls awesome it was. But we’re not!!!! Because it’s a bad decision for men, period.
You’re now free to grab a beer and hit the emergency exit.

Technorati Tags: marriage,ass,thong,women,pussy,cum,cunt,beer,shit,American Women,suck

Alimony: A Lottery

2010-09-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Too Good To Be True???

2010-09-02T19:48:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Sometimes you have to take these bitches with a grain of salt. Yes even my sarcastic ass knows that not ALL American women are fucked up, just 99.99999% of them are. So there is a chance that I might meet one that is cool, just like there's a chance I might win Power Ball, catch a unicorn or shit a golden turd.

So what happens when you meet that one that's fan-fucking-tastic!!! I mean she's great, cool to hang with, likes your friends, and of course sucks the fucking color off your dick! To quote the great philosopher Kenny Loggins, this is when you are in "The Danger Zone". This is when you can get easily distracted by her firm ass and excellent oral communication skills.

Don't let your guard down gentlemen! Take a step back and evaluate the situation as if you were giving advice to one of your drinking buds. It will give you a much better picture of what you really have on your hands. Recently, I've found myself in this same exact situation and when I did step back and mulled things over with my good friend Johnnie Walker here are some of the red flags that I found whipping in the wind.

Multiple kids, multiple fathers. (who don't pay child support)
Previous "serious" relationship was abusive.
Complains about not finding any "good" men.
Radical spike in interest after learning of career path
Lots of male friends, very few female friends.
No goals, career or otherwise. (waiting on Prince Charming)

The list goes on, but you get the picture. It's easy to ignore the warning signs when someone is swallowing your load; especially when they do their best to hide them. Until next time fuckers.

You're now free to drink scotch on the rocks.

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!

2010-08-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side. Goddamn you Alcohol!!! You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!

Poverty Better than Abortion?

2010-08-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

This is your Captain speaking................welcome aboard fuckers!

I am amazed sometimes, I truly am. Some of the conversations I have with women both amaze and frustrate me. However the conversations I'm having are not occurring in a vacuum. The effects of what I'm talking about can be seen in our society. It can be seen in our so-called "working poor"

The news channels love the working poor, especially around election time. They parade family after family of people talking about how they can't make ends meet. That they need help from the rest of us.

Now I do give to charity, but I can't help to wonder if it's ever dawned on any of these people that the fact that they keep shitting out little rug-rats is a major factor, often the major factor in their poverty!! Newsflash fuckwad, if you're poor before you have a kid, the shit will be worse after!!!!

Or the poor single mother stories about how Sally had to drop out of college because she got knocked up by her loser boyfriend. Amazing how these women can smoke, drink and bang all throughout high school and college yet the moment they get knocked up they suddenly latch on to some moral compass that doesn't allow them to get an abortion.

I know women who have been in that situation and guess what? The ones who had the abortion are doing pretty goddamn good for themselves. The ones who didn't, well the typical story is that the guy who knocked them up left them. Of course they didn't finish school so now they have a dead-end job. Now with the extra kid baggage they are not able to attract as high quality of a man as they could have before so they raise their child in poverty conditions living off Section 8 housing, food stamps, and other forms of public assistance. To her abortion is wrong, but bringing a child up in shitty conditions without a father is perfectly ok.

Well you know what missy, you can take that bullshit moral compass of yours and shove it up your twat. Maybe it'll act like a diaphragm so that you won't bring any more future gang members and car-jackers into this world.

Ladies your logic is fucked!

You are now free to drink a 40.

What Are You Really Getting?

2010-08-17T13:35:00.001-07:00

This is your Captain speaking..............welcome aboard fuckers!!

When you work someplace that the majority of employees are women, you get to see and hear some things that you'd probably rather not know. Like the woman in her mid 20s who sleeps in a separate bedroom and when her "soulmate" wants some ass he has to pay for it with dinner and gifts. Or how about the endless medical issues that some women have ranging from migraines to anxiety episodes?? I mean if she's pulling this shit with her boss, imagine trying to get some pussy from her?

Of course these women hid these behaviors BEFORE their guy signed the dotted line. These women I'm talking about look great when you first see them. You think, man that's not too bad right there. She's HOT! But soon you see she's more loosely held together like a shade-tree mechanic's old Chevy!

Their husbands thought they were getting this..................................

But what they REALLY got stuck with is this.........................

Talk about fucking Cash for Clunkers! Holy Bait and Switch Batman!!!

I have recently seen an increase in some of these so-called "classics" trying to get my attention. I've even test drove a couple. However in the back of my head, I wonder HOW MUCH ARE THE MAINTENANCE COSTS!!!!

You are now free to listen to Tom Leykis.

Auto Draft

2010-08-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

The Great Escape

2010-07-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

This is your Captain speaking...................welcome aboard fuckers.

Back on May 4th 2009, I entered my first damn post where I said I would chronicle my journey out of marriage. Since then I have been stashing away cash, $5 here, $20 there into what I call a F U Fund. This is because my wife and I had already separated once and got back together due to finances. Since then, we have eliminated all joint debt and even some of our individual debt. I needed my stash of cash because although I do have friends that would put me up if I was out in the cold, I do not have any family that I could shack up with for a few months while I got my affairs in order. So I had to plan.

I planned for the worse. I planned that the day I told my wife I wanted a divorce that I'd have to leave that day. That day came and went this week, prior I had been looking at apartments. I knew exactly where I would go.

However the worse did not happen. Although I would compare my situation to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico and the BP oil spill. The situation may seem under control now, but it could go to fuck at any minute.

Some things did go as I planned, I was the bad guy of course and she claimed to be the perfect wife. She claimed I was just using her and that she was the only one contributing to the marriage, blah, blah, blah.

While I play an asshole on the internet, I do have one or two good qualities even though being civil can get you screwed over. Currently we have agreed that this will not be a hasty, unguided split. However, please remember the BP situation. It could blow at any moment. Right now the time frame for my departure is Sept-Oct. I am still preparing for the worst.

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Half-Assed Happy Father’s Day

2010-06-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

This..........is your Captain speaking. Welcome aboard fuckers!

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has logged on to their FaceBook account today to see all the Father's Day comments only to notice the striking difference between the comments for Father's Day and the type of comments for Mother's Day.

Today I saw a lot of "disclaimers" on the comments like saying that this only applies to "real men" and so on. I saw no mention of "real women" on Mother's Day. I also saw a lot of bitching by women about deadbeat dads.

Ladies, the only reason we have deadbeat dads is because you continue to have babies with deadbeats. You also have to understand that if you try to make a guy stay with you by getting pregnant, chances are he'll haul ass.

Or if a condom breaks, that's not "God's" way of telling you to have a kid, that's a fucking defect in the condom!! If you decide on your own to bring that baby into the world against the guys wishes then don't bitch when he's not out there throwing baseballs back and forth with little waterhead. And let's be honest, you should know ahead of time what kind of guy you're fucking. Usually if you question a woman enough, she soon admits that the guy was a loser when she met him but she thought her magic vagina would change him.

I saw numerous comments about guys getting women pregnant and leaving, well ladies you have around a dozen forms of birth control and on top of that you have morning after pills and abortion. You can accidentally get pregnant, but there's no such thing as an accidental birth.

If a guy were to give women the same types of slick comments on Mother's Day, he'd be publicly skewed!! As Marc Rudov says, we have an 11th commandment in this country, "Thou Shall not Criticize a Woman"

You're now free to smoke in the bathrooms.

Even Famous Pussy Has a Biological Clock That Rings Louder than Big Ben!

2010-06-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

This is your Captain speaking.............welcome aboard fuckers!!

Have you seen this article? I'll wait a minute while you read.....so Jessica Biel, who appears in the latest A Team movie is "desperate" for a baby from Justin Timberlake. Hmmmm......I wonder why, oh wait I see why, she 28!!!! That's like 45 in Hollywood years! My advice to JT, GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!

She's been banging around having a good time and now she wants that guaranteed 18 year annuity known as a baby. I know what you're saying, she has her own money, right? At the moment, yes. But haven't you noticed how in Hollywood that the same group of leading men are getting older, but that they make sure that the female actresses that play opposite of them stay the same age. You don't see Brad Pitt playing opposite Sharon Stone, hell no, they get the newest, hottest piece of ass they can find.

At 28 Biel is no longer the hottest or youngest. So she needs to lock in some mega child support that you can only get from a famous actor/musician/athlete.

But gentlemen this happens at all levels, not just Hollywood, it's happening on your street, maybe it's happened to you. You're dating some broad and things are going well until...............................she hits you with the "I'm not getting any younger" speech. Suddenly just having a good relationship is no longer enough for her. Of course these are the same chicks on Match.com and Plenty of Fish who have headlines like "I've had my fun" or "Not into playing games".

What this means is that she's banged every Tom, Dick, and Harry Balls in the city and now that she has 150,000 miles on the odometer she wants to settle down and have YOU pay for her. Sometimes one or four of the bad boys that she used to bang has left her with a little present in the form of a child. Of course bad boy doesn't pay any child support so she needs someone to "step up" or whatever other line of bullshit they try to pass off as honorable. The bottom line is that as a guy you want NO part of this mess.

As soon as a chick even hints of a baby you need to stop having sex with her immediately!!!! Don't make a 18yr gamble that the condom won't slip or break. Don't hope that she won't accidentally forget to take her pill or that she won't poke a hole in your condoms. Just like Justin Timberlake could replace Biel with an equally hot or hotter piece of ass, that's what you need to do the moment she says she wants a child. I don't give a fuck if your Justin Timberlake or Joe 6 Pack, you need to run! Run hard, run silent, run deep, just fucking run!!!

You're now free to shove peanuts up some sky cunt's ass.

I'm Tiger Woods...SUCK IT!!

2010-05-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

Listen to Your Elders

2010-05-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

What's up fuckers!

Here's a quick hit for ya. It's a bit of an older clip from YouTube, but one worth repeating. Now before you view the clip, let me quote Tom Leykis by saying that "not all women are like this. There are exceptions to the rule, but the exceptions prove the rule."

So without further fucking delay, here's The Kid from Brooklyn on staying single.

Old Friends

2010-05-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

This is your Captain speaking............welcome aboard fuckers!!

Old friends...........ever have that chick that you knew way back before all the bs set in between the sexes. Back when you were just kids. You kinda keep that fond memory alive over the years, even chat with her every once in a while.

Gentlemen it's a fucking trap. Hard to admit, but true. A very good old friend of mine fits the bill. She, at one time, was a great girl. The hardest thing for me to do is to step back and take a honest look, not at the girl I used to know, but at the woman that is now there.

She was a petite, very cute blond, still is in fact. But tell me is this story sounds familiar.....she got knocked up by a few bad boys and now she suddenly wants a real relationship. Now she wants a "good guy". Now she wants someone to come in and be Captain Save-A-Hoe.

Fellas, the image of this former friend is one that has been made up over the years, please do not fall for this illusion. The girl you knew is long gone, dead. What you see now is just a shell, I know the memories are powerful, but trust me. Your friend is dead, what is left is your typical American cunt.

I know it's hard, but you have to take a step back and look at how she acts. Granted there may even be flashes of what used to be when you were kids, but that's all it is, just a flash in the pan. What was once there has long since evaporated! Don't try to capture the past, just let it be and move on, in the end you will be happy that you did instead of settling like most people.

You're now free to bang about the country.